Who is Eiri's star?
by hokage
Summary: at last! chapter 15 now up. What will Shuichi do when his twin brother is also in love with Yuki? Or rather, who will Yuki choose? YxS
1. Default Chapter

Summary: Shuichi has a twin. Shuichi is a boy that nobody wants. Hehe i got the idea from boys next door weeee!

CHAPTER 1: Shuni, the star

Disclaimer: i don't own gravitation

"Shuichi.. he's nowhere to be found. I contacted all our friends and his relatives, searched the places where he might stay.. but no luck.. I can't find him." Hiro said.

Its been two days and Shuichi couldn't be seen. He must be really shocked after seeing that scene..

This is my mix of the wonderful series, gravitation. In this fic, Shuichi has a twin.

Shuichi and Shuni Shindou, the twins of the Shindou household. They were very close even to their sister Maiko. But like any other family, of course, comparison cannot be deleted. Shuni, the younger of the twins, excells at almost everything. He's popular and cute just like Shuichi, but what brings him to the top is his intelligence. From preschool up to the present time, he's always number one at school rankings. He was highly praised by his teachers and classmates, and his parents brag about him all the time.

Shuichi, on the otherhand, was not that good at his studies, but he always tries his best. He was only known at school because of his cool looks, and powerful voice. Like Shuni, he is very kind and lovable. Their parents always compare them, where Shuni is the favored one. Eventhough there are situations like that, they were very close.

Shuni was awarded a scholarship and he was sent to America. Maiko was still studying and doing good. Shuichi, remained in Japan, as the vocalist of the band Bad luck.

(A/n: i retained maki murakami sensei's flow of the series. (how Shuichi and Yuki met.. etc..but here, Shuichi and Yuki are not yet lovers.))

"Ne Yuki, how was your day?" Shuichi greeted the blonde novelist.

"Fine without you brat." Yuki snapped while staring on the screen.

"You know Yuki, try to be romantic sometimes!" Shuichi stuck out his tongue. "Hey! That's it! why won't we go to the Odaiba.."

"I told you I'm busy. Get outta my house." Yuki said coldly.

"Mou Yuki, so mean!" he pouted in response and folded his arms.

Ring! Ring!

"Answer your phone! It's as noisy as you!"Yuki scolded.

"Fine! You jerk!" he pressed a button and greeted whoever it was on the other line.

"Hello, Shuichi Shindou speaking."

"Bro! It's me! I missed you! how's everthing there!"

"Shuni! I missed you too! Everything's fine here. Why did you call?"

"I'm going back! Oh and guess what! I got the highest mark in school! I can't wait to tell them!"

"Wai! When are you coming back? I have lots of stories to tell you, I'll also introduce you to Yuki.. he's..

"Eh, bro, I need to hung up, I'll call you again.. sorry there was a problem here, I really miss you! bye!" Shuni said and hung up.

"Ooh! I can't wait! My brother's coming home!" Shuichi jumped joyously that the whole apartment was shaking.

"Baka! I told you to leave! You're destroying my house!"

"Gomen Yuki! I was just excited! See, my brother Shuni is coming home, he went to study in America and..

"Whatever brat, just don't introduce me to him, I don't wanna deal with another Shindou again."

"Hmph! Say whatever you wanna say Yuki! you can't spoil my happiness! Weeee!" Shucichi grinned and stole a kiss then stormed out of the apartment before he could receive Yuki's flare.

A/n: there.. another installment hehe.. next chap, Shuni and Yuki meet. Will it evolve in a romance? How about Shuichi? Find out in chap2!

This chap will be revised.


	2. Shuni arrives

Chapter 2: Shuni arrives

**sorry for the lack of accurate descriptions for this chap. i promise to improve this next time. i'm in a slump you know, and there' no K to point a gun at me.**

disclaimer: i hate this part, it always remind me that I don't own gravi and it's characters

on with the story..

"I'm sorry K! I have to go to the airport now! bye!

Shuichi waved and ran out the studio, leaving the rest of bad luck. Today, Shuni is coming home from the States.

"Not so fast kid." K said pointing a gun at the singer's head. "You still have two songs to finish."

"B-but! I'm expected to be there at 7pm! It's already 5:30! I can't make it if I –

"You are to fininsh two songs today! Work is work!" K said clearly pushing Shuichi on the door.

"Aww man," he sighed. "Mom is gonna hate me again!"

"Don't worry Shu, Shuni will understand. When you see him, say hi for me." Hiro said.

_Airport, 7:30 pm_

"Minna! I'm back! I've missed all of you! Hey, where's Shuichi?"

Shuni stood before his mom and Maiko. He was carrying 3 large bags and a box of goodies. He wore an orange jacket and khaki pants, exactly the same as Shuichi's. He too have sparkling violet eyes which matched his charm. He and Shuichi exactly looked alike, except for Shuni's pink hair which are spiked.

"Don't worry about him honey, you know that twin brother of yours, he's always late!" their mother said embracing him.

"Aww mom, let's wait for him!" Shuni said.

"No, we'll go home now, we can't wait for Shuichi, he's not a v.i.p!" their mother exclaimed. Obviously, her favorite is Shuni. For her, Shuichi is the black sheep of the family.

"Com'n Shuni kun, it's getting late! I'll just inform Shuichi that you've arrived so he'll not go here anymore." Maiko said. "Oh, and welcome back!"

"Hmm, thanks Maiko sis!"

The three of them went home and celebrated Shuni's arrival. Shuichi arrived there, missing the party.

"Oh geez, Shuichi! You're late again! Why can't you be like Shuni? Look, he's the topnotcher again! All you do is sing and you're not even good at it!"

"Sorry mom, my manager's very strict." Was all that Shuichi said, bowing his head in shame.

"Really, Shuichi, you're a pain in the ass." Their mother replied coldly.

"Mom! Is that Shuichi? Shuichi! Bro! I'm back!" Shuni greeted and ran towards his twin.

"I missed you bro!" Shuichi hugged Shuni. He, Shuni and Hiro were the best of friends.

"Why were you late?" Shuni asked leading Shuichi to the kitchen. He handed his brother a plate filled with sweets.

"I'm really sorry Shuni, it was my fault. I'm working as a singer of a band now! And guess what? Hiro's the guitarist! And I finally got the chance to sing with Sakuma Ryuichi!" he squealed, their mother glared.

"Honto? Sakuma san the great? Oh my!" Shuni screamed.

"Hai! Everyone at the studio is good, well sometimes they get very annoying, specially when I can't write a lyric, K threatens me with his gun.. he's our manager you know and he –

"Aren't you the annoying one?" Their mother asked.

Shuichi stared at his food. He can't understand why their mother won't appreciate the things he does.

Shuni bit his lip. He was aware that he was the favorite son, but he doesn't want to hurt Shuichi's feelings.

"I know Shuichi, why don't you give me a tour at NG? I want to see Hiro anyway, and I want Sakuma san's autograph!" he patted Shuichi on the back to boost up his brother's mood.

"Hai! Of coure I'd love too! If you want, I'll fetch you tomorrow!" Shuichi lightened up.

"Then, that's settled! We'll meet at Zenny's 9am!" Shuni exclaimed.

yaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoiyaoi

Shuni was standing in front of Zenny's glass windows waiting for Shuichi. He was a half hour early so he decided to take a walk.

"Ah, Japan! My homeland! I missed you very much!" he stretched his arms and walked on the crowded streets.

"Hey! A bookstore!" he eyed the store which was a few feet from where he was. Shuni was very good at writng stories and poems and he can even speak five different languages.

He ran towards the bookstore, accidentally bumping a tall man in a black suit. The impact was hard that they fell on the ground.

"Itai.. Gomen.." Shuni rubbed his neck.

"Watch where you're going brat! You're not suppose to run in places like this." A cold voice scolded.

Shuni stood up and met golden piercing eyes. He gasped in his mind, admiring the georgous man in front of him.

"What are you staring at?"

"S – sorry again."Shuni said.

"Brats are not suppose to be here." The man brushed his blond hair. "And.. what's with the hair?" he pointed out.

"Eh? My hair?" Shuni exclaimed. "What's wrong with my hair?"

"Baka! Why is it spiked?"

"If I want to spike my hair, then I'll do it!" he was getting impatient. At first he admired the looks of this person, but hearing his insults and rough words, he changed his mind.

"Hn. You think it looks cool on you?" the blonde said lighting up a cigarette.

"So what if it doesn't? It's my freedom!" he glared at the man.

"Yeah, whatever. Why are you here anyway?" the blonde asked.

"Jerk, this is a bookstore so, what do you think is done inside a bookstore? Read of course!" Shuni brushed the dust on his shirt.

"Read? Since when did you know how to read? You really make me laugh."

"Look mister, I don't have time for your insults." Shuni glanced at his watched. "Oh no, It's already 9:15!"

"Mister? What kind of joke is this?" the blonde grabbed Shuni's arm. "First you're in a bookstore to read, you have work today right? And second, you wear those spikes.. third, you are calling me mister?"

"Excuse me!" he pushed the man. Do I know you? He he spat angrily.

"Don't joke around Shu –

"SHUNI! Shuni! There you are! I was worried because you were never late in an appointment. Why are you here? I thought we're to meet at Zenny's?"

"Sorry bro, this jerk over here ate my time."

The blonde rubbed his eyes, blinked many times then stared. He was seeing double.

"Who – oh, hi Yuki!" Shuichi embraced the writer.

"You – and this – " Yuki said in confusion.

"Oh gomen Yuki. This is Shuni my twin brother. Shuni, this is Yuki Eiri my lov –

"You.. you have a twin?" Yuki said in shock.

"Uhm, hai, didn't I tell you?" Shuichi placed an arm on Shuni's shoulder.

"You told me you have a brother, but you didn't say it's a twin."

"Is he your friend Shuichi? Don't make friends with elders like him, he's such a rude person. Com'n!" Shuni grabbed Shuichi's arm.

"El.. Elder!" Yuki fumed. He was old, but not old enough to be called an elder.

"Weheh.. Gomen Yuki! Wait Shuni! What happened?"

"He insulted my fashion sense, and he said that I'm a brat." Shuni shot dagger looks at Yuki who glared back at him.

"Oh.. he must have mistaken you as me." Shuichi explained. "Yuki is a good man Shuni, please say sorry to him."

"Why would I? He started it first!"

"I don't have time dealing with stupid brats. I'm leaving." Yuki said and left.

"Eh – Yuki.. matte.. Shuni..say.."

"Don't talk to him again Shuichi, com'n!" he grabbed Shuichi and they walked towards NG.

* * *

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

"Hiro kun!"

"Shuni chan!"

"Hiro kun!"

"Shuni chan!"

embrace

"Shuni! Glad you're back!"

"Me too. Glad to see you! And who's this girl? Your girlfriend? Aww Hiro, you didn't tell me you have interests for youngsters!" he beamed at the fuming green haired youth in front of him.

"E – eh.. Shuni chan! This is Fujisaki, our band member. He takes care of the synth. But.. he's a he, not a she.

"Eh? Gomen! I thought you were a girl!" Shuni bowed his head.

"That's ok bro, he's used to it." Shuichi patted Fujisaki. "Come, I'll show you around!"

"Yay! I want to see Sakuma san!" and with that, they left the room.

"I was surprised, I didn't know they're twins." Fujisaki said.

"Hai, we were friends since elementary." Hiro said tuning his guitar.

"Then, if that's the case, it's a double Shindou disaster. Twins are surely alike."

"You're wrong Fuji, Shuni is the exact opposite of Shuichi, eventhough they look alike. Shuni is best in academics, and he is really smart. He graduated at a good school in America"

"Wow." Fujisaki whistled.

* * *

"Sakuma san! Over here!" Shuichi waved at his idol who was wearing a bunny costume. 

"Shui – eh? Waah! waah!" the singer wailed.

"Doushite Sakuma san? Why are you crying?" Shuichi comforted his friend and rival.

"Shu chan! I think I'm dying! I'm seeing two Shu chans! Waah!"

"Woah, relax Sakuma san. You are not seeing double. This is my twin, Shuni chan."

"Eh, twin? What's a twin?" Ryuichi stared at Shuni.

"A twin is like.. umm..

"A twin is like a clone, Sakuma san. But I am not a clone. I am Shuichi's younger brother. We are twins because we were born at the same day by our mother." Shuni explained.

"Yeah, that's a twin" Shuichi said, grateful for his brother's explanation.

"Oh! Wow! Your hair is spiked! I'll have my hair spiked too!" Ryuichi jumped and ran.

"Ah – wait.. I want to ask for your auto... graph." Shuni said, but Ryuichi was gone fast.

"Don't worry bro, you have lots of chance to get it."

The twins walked back on their house after Bad luck's practise. Only a few minutes left and the clock will point both its hand at the number 12.

"Where were you!" their mother shouted at the twins. She hugged Shuni and stared with disgust at Shuichi.

"You! Don't be a bad influence to your brother! Is going home at this hour proper?"

"Sorry mom. I didn't notice the time." Shuichi received all of his mother's flare.

"Don't blame him mom, it was I who want to go bar hopping..

"Don't cover for him Shuni, this brother of yours truly doesn't know the meaning of responsibility." Their mom said. "go to your room!"

"yes mom." Shuichi said and locked his door.

A/n: I was planning to make this chap longer, but I have a writer's block. Hehe.


	3. Double Shindou Disaster

gomen, my grammar gets worse everytime!

disclaimer: don't own

**thanks to those who reviewed! here's the next chap. enjoy!**

Chapter 3: Double Shindou strike

"Here it goes.." Shuichi glanced at his twin and knocked on the door.

There was no answer.

Knock knock knock knock...

"YUKI! Com'n open the door! I know you're there! Yuki!" Shuichi pounded his fist on

the door.

"Oh Shu chan, he's not there! Comn! We're wasting time!" Shuni said.

Somehow, Shuichi managed to get Shuni apologize to Yuki. Eventhough it was Yuki's fault, he wanted the two to be close, because the two of them are CLOSE to his heart.

"Fuck brat, have you ever heard of waiting?" Yuki said as he opened the door. "What do you want!"

"Umm.. Gomen, Shuni just wanted to apologize." The twins stepped inside.

"If it weren't for Shuichi, I won't apologize." Shuni defended.

"You don't have to apologize if it's not your will. Honestly, if Shuichi asked you to jump from a building, will you do it? If he tells you to eat dirt with pigs will you follow him?" Yuki said, annoyed, sitting at the sofa, drinking his beer.

"Yes." Shuni said simply.

Yuki almost spat his beer.

"If it's for Shuichi, I'll do anything." Shuni smirked.

"Shu chan, you don't have to say that." Shuichi said.

"It's true! I'll do anything for you bro."

"If you guys went here to make me watch your sweetness, then go away." Yuki snapped.

Shuichi poked Shuni on the ribs. "Say it Shuni!" Shuichi whispered.

"Yuki san, sorry for yesterday." Shuni bowed and apologized.

Yuki blinked. He was surprised by Shuni's seriousness in doing whatever Shuichi tells him.

"Hmn, go away brats, I have a novel to finish." Yuki said.

"Novel?" Shuni asked.

"Hai, sorry, I forgot to tell you, Yuki is a famous romance novelist in our country." Shuichi explained.

"Wow! Can I read one of your novels!" Shuni's eyes glittered. He really loved books and dreamed of becoming a great writer one day.

"Shuni, let's go, we might bother him, besides, I'm late for work." Shuichi said.

"May I borrow your works Yuki san? I'm a writer too, but I'm not that good yet.."

"Sorry, I don't lend my works to others. If you want them, buy them." Yuki replied sharply.

"Geez, what a bastard! Then, I'll read it here." Shuni snatched a book from the shelf and welcomed himself on Yuki's living room.

"Shuni! I have to go! Don't be too difficult!" Shuichi pleaded.

"But I really want to read this bro!" Shuni said stubbornly and sat on the sofa.

_Exactly like a stubborn Shuichi, _Yuki thought. 

Shuichi gave Yuki his pleading and watery eyed look.

_Oh please, I hope he lets Shuni stay here! Please!_

"Fine." Yuki said rubbing his temples. He was really weak with those looks.

"Honto? Arigato Yuki!" he pinched Yuki's cheek and flashed out of the apartment like lightning.

"See ya later Shuni! Don't give Yuki a headache ok?"

"Ja!" Shuni waved.

"Don't make a noise." He warned the former spikey haired kid. Today, Shuni's hair was braided neatly. (a/n: jamaican braid.)

"Hai! Arigato." Shuni said.

* * *

Yuki realized he can't write anymore at that moment, so he went out of his study to get a can of beer. It was already noon, and the weather was cold.

"Don't you have anything on your refrigerator besides beer?"

Yuki's heart jumped as he heard the voice. He almost forgot that Shuichi's twin was in his house.

"Damn it brat, you could give me a heart attack."

"You told me to keep quiet." Shuni reasoned out.

"If you are hungry, go eat Shuichi's pockeys that he left two days ago." Yuki said and went to the living room. Three books were lying on the sofa.

"Why are these books here?" Yuki asked.

"Oh, sorry, I promise to return them to the shelf. I just finished reading those three."

Yuki glanced at the wall clock. It's been two hours since he left Shuni, and he already read three? Really, this twin brother of Shuichi is a lot different from him.

"Hmn.."

"Hey, Yuki san.."

Yuki pretended not to hear Shuni.

"Yuki san!" Shuni called a little louder.

Yuki still pretended not to hear Shuni.

Then there was silence. Long silence.

"YYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUUUUKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIII SSSSAAAANNNNNNN!"

"YYYYYYYYYYUUUUUUUUUU-

"WHAT IS IS BRAT!"

"I have a name you know, don't call me brat, you old man!" Shuni calmed.

"Old man huh? I'm just two years older than you!"

"Whatever, you are still old.. and vexing."

"Vexing.. I bet your brother doesn't know the meaning of that word. It best describes the two of you."

"Don't insult Shuichi! He may be a little stupid, but he's still a person who does not deserve being insulted! I don't know how he can stand a bastard like you."

"I don't know either." Yuki said. "And I don't know why I'm letting you inside my house. Get out."

"Tsk, really a jerk."

"I said get out."

"Fine! I'll go, but first, I want to ask you something. Could you give me some tips on..

"Whatever it is, I won't give you a tip." Yuki responded immediately.

"Ok then, may I ask you, why do you end your novels in a tragic way?"

There was a pause.

"So you've noticed. That's because I don't believe in what I write. I don't believe in endless and true love. Got that? Now, you are disturbing me, go away."

"You know, someday, you'll get what you deserve! You have to open your heart and see that life and love is wonderful." Shuni said and walked out.

"What an interesting guy." Yuki whispered as Shuni exited.

* * *

YYYYYUUUUUUUKKKKKKIIIIIIII!

"Tsk.. another headache.." Yuki cursed and opened the door.

"Who are you?" Yuki snapped.

"Can't you tell by just looking? I am Shuichi!" he jumped at the writer and hugged him.

"Pink haired people are not allowed in my house." Yuki pushed Shuichi.

" Mou.. hey, wait, where's Shuni?"

Shuichi arrived from work at NG, and it has become his routine to visit Yuki after work, no matter how late it is.

"I told him to go home. And I'm also telling that to you. Go ho –

"I love you Yuki!" Shuichi interrupted and kissed the writer lightly on the lips.

"You taste like garlic." Yuki teased.

"YUKI! It's not garlic! I ate chocolate and strawberry pockeys!"

"If I say it's how you taste, then, it's really how you taste."

"YUKI! Hmph, I specially bought you a strawberry cake and that's how you greet me? JERK! YUKI JERK!"

Yuki grabbed the box of cake and left Shuchi on the entrance. Shuichi sighed and welcomed himself and stood beside Yuki.

"Did Shuni gave you a headache?"

"Actually yes, and you're giving me a migraine." He sliced the cake and opened a can of beer.

"Hey, we'll attend a quiz show tomorrow. Be sure to watch ok?" (quiz show on episode4)

"Why would I? I don't want to listen to the shity things you say. If that's the only reason why you're here, then go away." Yuki glared.

"Yuki, can't I visit you without a reason?" Shuichi's tone was now a little wavy. It's only with Yuki that he can feel extreme happiness, but when the blonde is cold with him, he feels that the world was rolling on him.

"You are a lot different from your brother. You are mostly annoying and noisy than him. And besides, he's smart, unlike you. I wonder what kind of answers you'll give tomorrow."

Shuichi sat in the dark with silence. He lowered his eyes and put up a fake smile.

"I know, you don't have to say that Yuki." Shuichi said, not realizing that his tone was dark and cold. He was used to everybody comparing him and Shuni, but that does not mean he could not feel the hurt that was stabbing his heart. After all.. he hides something in his heart. A thing he hates called weakness.

"It's late, sorry to disturb you Yuki." His tone was still cold. He got up and and exited the apartment without his usual kidding and kissing.

Yuki shot a confused look as the door was closed. Somehow, he felt that he had just damaged a very important part of Shuichi..which was his heart.

* * *

"How many times have I told you not to go home at this particular time? Look! It's 2 in the morning! My goodness Shuichi, can't you act like a normal son?"

_Geez, unfortunately for you, I'm not like a normal kid. Getting home at this kind of hour.. what's wrong with that? You know I have work right? And instead of scolding, won't you embrace me and tell me you are worried? You can't even say you love me._

"Sorry mom." He said instead.

"Shuichi, bro, you look pale." Shuni said as he went out of his room.

"It's nothing, I'm just tired from work." He breathed hard.

"Tired from work, you should be studying Shuichi. You are always giving me a headache..

"_Did Shuni gave you a headache?"_

_"Actually yes, and you're giving me a migraine." _He recalled Yuki speak.

.. always a pain in the ass, look at Shuni and Maiko! They always do their best! When I look at your report cards, you can't gather an A!" their mother fumed.

Shuichi went to his room after the scolding and collapsed on the floor. He held the left side of his chest, and felt like it was breaking. He breathed hard. The pain was just too much. He cried by himself and shut his eyes.

_Am I really that stupid? Can't they see that I'm always doing my best? And what's wrong with working or doing what you want? I'm in the right age! Mom, will it be always like this? Can't you recognize my hardworks? I want your attention! Even just a short glance at me! I know Shuni is the best. But you don't have to compare us! Why is it always him? Why can't you recognize me!_

_**Quote:**And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear You shout and no one seems to hear. And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes I'll see you on the dark side of the moon._

_

* * *

_

_Ding dong!_

A blonde novelist opened the door of his apartment one cold noon, and what greeted his eyes was a pink haired kid whose hair was messy yet in style. The pink hair was spiked from behind, giving a nasty look. (think Squall or Uchiha Sasuke)

"Changing styles might damage your hair." Yuki said.

"As I've told you, it's my freedom." Shuni snapped.

"Why are you here?"

"As a part of my freedom, I'll go wherever I like." Shuni said.

"As a part of my freedom, I'm closing the door and not letting you in.." Yuki closed the door and opened it again. "Forever." He added then shut the door again.

"Eh! Matte Yuki san!" Shuni forced himself in. I'm asking you a favor. "Yuki san! Open up! YYYYUUUUKKKKIIII san! Yuki san!" he shouted that the neighbors were closing their windows and doors to avoid noise.

"Wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!" Shuni cried.

_I'm taking back what I said, this kid, is almost the same as Shuichi._

"Shut up brat!" he opened the door again. "You're disturbing the whole village! For crying out loud, you and Shuichi are really twins!"

"Ahaha.." Shuni laughed, the tears fading immediately. "Gomen, I want to come in. He ran like a rat inside Yuki's living room and gathered as many books he could carry.

"BAKA!" you can't carry all of that by your-

Thud..

self" Yuki finished.

Shuni tripped then bumped Yuki and they landed on the floor, some of the books hitting the kid's head.

"Waah! Itai!" Shuni bawled.

"Am I not the injured one?" Yuki shot dagger looks at Shuni who was sitting on his stomach.

"E –eh gomen! Gomen nasai Yuki san." He tried to stand up, but a book hit his head again, causing him to fall back on Yuki and..

The writer felt something heavy on his lips. When he opened his eyes, the smart kid's lips were pressed over his.

Shuni immediately pulled away, shocked at what happened. The writer was used to things like this, everyday, Shuichi would show up and kiss him.

"Go – g..go..gomen." Shuni's voice squeaked.

"Fix those, I don't like them scattered." Yuki replied as if nothing happened. He went to his study again and continued with his novel.

Shuni finished putting back the books on the shelf and read the book on his hand. An hour passed and he was still rereading the third paragraph of the first chapter. The incident that happened earlier was clouding his mind. It was the first time he kissed someone, and never did he imagine it would be a guy.

_But he's so cool.. argh.. what am I thinking? We are both men! But.. his lips.. they're soft.. and his eyes, it's like seeing through me.. those golden.. sharp and piercing eyes.. ah shit! Stop it Shuni! It's all wrong!_

"IT'S ALL WRONG!"

"What's wrong?"

Yuki was standing beside the couch, eyes examining Shuni.

"Eep.."

"If you're going to rip the pages of that book, don't plan on returning here." Yuki's eyes were like knives.

Shuni looked at the book he was holding, or rather, ripping.

_Oh my.. I'm outa myself again...I didn't realize I'm destroying the book. Arghh. What is it with this Yuki! I can't get him out of my mind!_

"Gomen.."

"Tsk, what a burden!"

"E –eh.. gomen nasai again." _Shit, his eyes.. they're really glittering in my sight! One more of those stares and I'm really gonna faint.._

* * *

"YYYYYYYuuuukkkkkiiiiiii!"

"Oh great. Shuni in the morning and Shuichi in the evening!" Yuki muttered while opening the door.

"Yuki! I missed you! How was your day?"

"Fine without you and your brother."

"Yuki! Did you watch the variety show today?"

"No"

"Yuki! I told you to watch!"

"But I never said I'll follow you. Besides, I know you'll lose."

"Do you really think I'm that stupid huh Yuki?" Shuichi asked Yuki, his voice changing again.

"..."

"Hmm, yes, I'm stupid, everbody knows that. Since I was a child, all they do is compare me and Shuni. Shuni is always the gifted one, Shuni is always the golden child, Shuni is always the best, Shuni this Shuni that. I've become used to it and all I can brag about is my talent in singing."

"Shu.."

_Oh... did I just say that?_

"Oh.. ah.. gomen, just forget what I said, it's really nonsense.. haha" Shuichi changed from serious to laughing. "You know Yuki, if only you've watched earlier, you would have seen how we won because of you."

Because of me? Did I become his inspiration or what? 

"Yuki? You're lost in thoughts." Shuichi waved a hand in front of Yuki's face.

"..."

"Just forget what I've said earlier ok? It's really nonsense." Shuichi put up a fake smile again, but this time there were tears forming in his eyes. "Umm.. sorry, it's late.. I need to go! Bye!" he exited before Yuki could see his tears. He wiped them the moment he closed the door.

* * *

"Bro! Where have you been? You're lucky today! Mom is sleeping now!" Shuni whispered the moment Shuichi arrived.

"Were you waiting for me? Sorry, there was a problem at NG."

They went to Shuichi's room and had a chat. Shuichi was telling Shuni how good it was at NG.

"And you know Seguchi Tohma from Nittle Grasper? He's the president of NG! And guess what? He's the brother in law of Yuki!" Shuichi said.

"Honto? Yuki san's brother in law?" Shuni's face lit up at the mention of Yuki's name.

"Hai." Shuichi nodded. "But you know, I can feel that he doesn't like me."

""Why would Seguchi san hate you?"

"I don't know. But he's very cold to me, and he won't give our band a big chance!"

"Maybe it's just you bro, maybe he's pressuring you so that your band will make it to the top."

"I don't know, what I'm feeling is that he's really pissed with me."

"Hmm.. wait, about Yuki san,I noticed he's really nasty. Was he like that from the start?" Shuni asked, changing the conversation.

"Hmm.. a little nasty, yes. But he is really nice. He's adorable in a way. Eventhough he smokes and drinks most of the time, he likes sweets, and his favorite is strawberry shortcake."

_Strawberry shortcakes huh? Hmm. What else? _

"How long have you been friends?"

"Err. Friends? Ehehe, we were never friends. He calls me annoying, stupid and noisy most of the time. I remembered the first day we met, he made fun of my lyrics. I really hated him that time, but it turned out that he was a nice person." _And I think of him as my boyfriend! Heehee._

"Bro? Why is your face red?" Shuni asked making Shuichi snap out of his thoughts.

"Me? Red? Oh no it's nothing, maybe I'm exhausted from work." Shuichi defended.

"Oh, if that's the case, then I'll go to my room now! Good night!" he glanced at the window. "Erm, I mean good morning."

_Strawberry shortcakes.. strawberry shortcakes.. don't forget that. Strawbe-_

"Shuni? Where are you going? I thought you said you're going on your room?"

"Ha? Ah.." he blushed as he saw himelf walking inside Shuichi's closet. "Ahaha,I was just checking if I could borrow some of your clothes."

_Hey wait, maybeI should ask Shuichi. Should I? Will I? Can I? _

"Shuni?"

"Erm, Shuichi, I'll ask you something, but don't laugh ok?" Shuni wiggled his toes nervously.

"Ok, what is it?" Shuichi asked and hugged his pillow. (which he named Eiri)

"Umm, How does it feel.. when.. when.. y – you.. l- loove someone?"

Shuichi stopped wrestling his pillow and stared at his twin brother.

"You. You're in love aren't you?" Shuichi asked.

"wh – m – me? N – no! I was just asking." Shuni's was blushing.

_Sheesh.. in love? Am I crazy? In love with Yuki Eiri? Ha! No.. maybe I'm.._

"Geez Shuni! Don't lie to me! You can't hide anything!" Shuichi threw a pillow (which he named Eiri the bastard) at his twin and laughed.

"Baka Shuichi! I told you not to laugh!" He picked the pillow and threw it back to Shuichi.

"Sorry bro, you're so cute when you blush! A totally intelligent person does not know how to handle his feelings huh? So, who is she? Do I know her?" Shuichi kissed a pillow (which he named Yuki, my pockey)

_s –she.. oh no.. that's the problem! He is not a she! And I am a he also! Shit, will I tell Shuichi that it's his friend who I love.. wait.. did I just say love? Fuck Shuni! What's happening to you?_

"Erm.. Shuichi, don't tell Maiko ok? I'll just let you know when I'm really sure about my feelings."

"Shuni, what is important is you are true to your feelings, no matter how many disapproves of your relationship, or how many the trials are. Just be yourself."

"That's scary coming from you." He said to Shuichi as he reached for the doorknob.

_Be myself huh? Why is my heart beating this fast?_

"Ah, Shuni, where are you going? That's the way to the balcony."

A/N: there another of my installment..

**next chap: angst galore.. The cruel world of Shuichi Shindou..**

**the real plot starts! please review!**


	4. The cruel world of Shuichi

disclaimer: don't own..

summary: angsty chapter.. sorry.. I just have to post it!

Chapter 4: The cruel world of Shuichi

Shuichi was doing his best to bring Bad Luck to the highest. They won several awards, had successful concerts, a lot of music videos and they guested in many talk shows.

_I want to prove to everybody that even if I'm stupid, I'm still a pro and I love what I am doing._

* * *

Eiri Uesugi's apartment 8:00 am

"Yuki! Missed me?' Shuichi greeted the blonde novelist one sunny morning.

"Who are you"

"Yuki! It's me Shuichi!"

"I have work, go away."

"O geez, you're becoming thin Yuki. Don't tell me you haven't been eating?"

"Shut up, I can't eat when I'm meeting a deadline."

"Yuki! How many times have I been telling you not to skip meals." Shuichi scolded

"Don't act like a mother!" Yuki shouted.

Shuichi winced at Yuki's harsh tone and the mention of the word - mother.

"Umm, well, I was just trying to –

"You know what? You are disturbing me, you're becoming an eyesore."

"Yuki, don't be so mean, I was just trying to help because I'm concerned!" Shuichi hugged the writer from behind.

"Well, you are not helping! You are disturbing! And don't tell me you're concerned because I know you're not!" Yuki shouted again and pushed Shuichi on the floor.

Shuichi just stared at Yuki with shock.

_Am.. I really that annoying? Am I really that stupid I didn't realize I'm disturbing him? I – I'm just concerned.._

Yuki glared at Shuichi, but deep inside him, he felt sorry for treating Shu badly. The truth was, he was grateful for Shuichi's visit and concern.

_Damn hands. Why did I do that?_

Shuichi stood up.

"Hmm, I understand Yuki, sorry to disturb you. Bye." Shuichi's voice was expressionless. He went out of Yuki's apartment and proceeded to NG.

_Oh no, what did I do? _Yuki just stared as the door was gently closed.

Shuichi sat with Hiro and Fujisaki at the recording studio, watching NG mtv and waiting for K to arrive.

Now, let's listen to a song by ASK entitled Foreseen from their album Night Stand, but first, let's watch a live interview from the band's lead singer, Aizawa Tachi, the vj said.

"Tachi? That lazy eye?" Hiro said.

"From the first time I met him, I feel like I wanna scoop his eyes out." Fujisaki said.

"Eeww" Shuichi and Hiro chorused.

Interviewer: So Aizawa kun, can you please share with us what is inside your new album.

Tachi: Ah, there are 14 songs plus a bonus track on Night Stand. Since we are professionals, we have a mix of everything, from pop, rock, musical and even classical. On the cd cover, as you can see, is my close up picture taken during..

"He brags about his face." Hiro said.

"What's with him? I don't like him." Shuichi said.

"I wanna spit on his face." Fujisaki said.

"Eeww." Hiro and Shuichi said.

Interviewer: So what can you say about the rumors? I've heard that ASK is currently outside the charts.

Tachi: Just wait and see. Those rumors aren't true, we are trying our very best, but of course, we can't avoid wannabees and those who envy our talent. That's why I felt very bad when this certain vocalist of a band threw insulting words at us and our songs. This happened off stage of course. How sad, the truth is that I admire their band.

Interviewer: Is that true? Aizawa tachi san was insulted? And may the viewers know who is this person you're talking about?

Tachi: Oh no, sorry, I can't tell you, but, he's doing great in the charts now.

"Fuck him, he's talking about us!" Hiro pounded his fist on the table.

"That lazy eyes! He's telling lies! And he points it on me!" Shuichi whined.

"Oh no, what if the people guessed and believed it's you?" Fujisaki became nervous.

"Then, it's going to be trouble." Hiro said.

The next day..

"Shindou san, the boss is calling for you, he's waiting at his office." Sakano, Bad Luck's producer said.

"Do you know why?" Shuichi asked.

"I think it's because of that blasted interview from Tachi." K said, shooting ASK's poster.

"K.."

* * *

Seguchi Tohma's office 7:00pm

"Konbanwa Seguchi san" Shuichi said nervously as he entered the short blonde's office.

"Have a seat Shindou san." Seguchi Tohma said, not looking at Shuichi.

_Goodness, is he sleeping?_

There was a long silence since Shuichi took his seat. He was trembling from outside and was beginning to become uncomfortable with Tohma's silence. Finally he spoke up.

"Shindou san, do you have any idea why I asked for you?"

"Umm.. ano.."

_Damn you Tachi, why are you doing this to me!_

"It's because of that interview from Tachi."

"Um, Seguchi san, I know he was refering to me.. but I'm inno –

"There's no need for explanations Shindou san. That's not very important as of this moment." Tohma interrupted.

"Wh – what do you mean Seguchi – san?" Shuichi asked and the door swung open. Ryuichi stepped inside.

"Shuichi nanoda! Let's play!"

"Erm, Sakuma san.."

"Ryu chan, will you please leave us for a while, we are talking about an important thing."

"Important thing? Kumagoro is an important thing! Are you talking about Kumagoro? I'll listen!" Ryuichi said.

"Ryu chan, Kumagoro is an important thing, but we are not talking about him." Tohma explained.

"Oh.. ok..! bye Shu chan! Let's play tomorrow!" he said and exited. the truth was, he wanted to save Shuichi from Tohma's inconsiderate actions and words.

"As I was saying Shindou san,I got a report from the staff that you are in a slump this past few days, and it grew worse this morning."

"Wh - .. that's not tr..

"Whether or not it's true, I believe I have something to do with that."

Shuichi stood up slamming his palms on the table.

"But Seguchi san, I'm telling you, I'm not in a sl –

"Are you telling me that my staff is not reliable? They have been with NG for a long time and I know they can be trusted."

"Seguchi san, I'm not saying that, but I'm just defending myself, don't you..

"Don't put that tone on me Shindou san."

"G – gomen.." Shuichi said. He didn't realize that he was shouting at the president.

_Shit, I'm just defending myself, don't these people trust me? I'm not a liar, why does anybody betray me!_

"Shindou san, from the behaviour you shown me, I'm afraid..

_oh no.. don't tell me he's firing me. He can't do that! I'm a good singer!_

.. I have to suspend you for a whole month.. effective tomorrow."

_Oh no.. I'm screwed._

"Please don't think that I suspended you because of your behaviour. It's also because of your slump. If you continue on doing that, I'll eliminate you in my comapany."

"Hai." Shuichi sighed.

_Look at the bright side Shuichi, at least you're not fired._

"You may go." Tohma said and turned his back.

* * *

"Shuichi, I thought you were never coming back, you have been inside his office for two hours! What happened?" Hiro asked as Shuichi went back to their room. Everybody was waiting for the singer to return.

"What's wrong? Did he say something bad?"

Shuichi couldn't look at them in the eye. He focused his eyes on the ground, wishing it would open up and swallow him.

"Shuichi?"

"Umm.. he.. said that I'm in a slump, so I defended myself.. b – but. I.. I.. he got me suspended for a month." He said without looking up.

Nobody spoke.

Long silence.

Nobody moved.

Still nobody spoke.

_Damn it, why are they silent? Com'n you stupid ground, open up and swallow me!_

"Minna, gomen, I didn't know I was causing too much trouble. Gomen." He bowed very low and ran out of the building.

"Wait! Shuichi!" Hiro called, but no luck, Shuichi ran fast.

"He was suspended huh? Because of a slump?" Fujisaki said.

"Oh great, just what I needed.. a break! See ya guys, I'm going to Kyoto at this hour." Hiro said and exited.

"Yeah, but honestly, we were in a slump too, I mean, isn't it just fine? We just finished a major concert." Sakano said panickly.

They all agreed inside their minds.

* * *

_Shit, it's so unfair! It's so unfair! Shuichi ran towards home._

Fuck it, I forgot my things at NG. Now, I have to knock.. I don't have my keys.

Shindou residence 10:35 pm

He positioned his fist on the door, but it opened for him instantly.

"Bro? Come on in, mom is sleeping!"

"Shuni! Thank goodness!" he whispered and entered their dark apartment. But the moment his foot stepped inside, the lights were opened.

The twins looked back in shock. It was their mother standing behind them.

"M – mom.."

"Well, if it isn't the black sheep." Their mom greeted.

Shuichi's heart felt a stabbing pain.

"Mom, Shuichi's not..

"Shuni, I thought you were intelligent? Why did you let Shuichi influence you? Is he your master that you need to open the door for him!"

"Mom, that's enough! I opened the door because it's the right thing to do."

"See? He's influencing you! Look at you now! You are answering back! It's because of Shuichi!"

Shuichi's heart was bleeding in pain. He breathed hard.

"Mom, your mind is closed! You –

"Shuni.. that's enough. Mom, I'm sorry."

"Shuichi! you don't need to say sorry! It's not your f-

"Shuichi, you were never a good son.. look at what you've done, you are a bad influence to Shuni! You never gave us good grades, you always give us a headache, you always come home late...

"Mom, that's enough!" Shuni defended his brother.

"Why? It's true! And that bastard is even the reason why your father died!" their mother shouted and Maiko went out of her room.

Shuichi became pale.

"Mom, that's too much! Don't blame him!" Maiko said.

"You too Maiko? You're influenced by him? Com'n everbody knows the reason!" She advanced on Shuichi and pushed him out of their house.

"Mom!" Shuni and Maiko shouted.

Shuichi tripped and fell on the ground.

"That's it Shuichi, you're not sleeping here tonight." Their mom said and slammed the door.

Inside, Shuichi could hear their mother scolding his siblings, and ordering them to go to their room. He stayed sitting on the ground for minutes, digesting everything that their mother said.

_A pain in the ass, annoying, noisy, stupid, burden, and, the cause of Dad's death.. why is my life like this? Doushite.. all my life, I covered up my lack of intelligence by being a good and honest child.. why doesn't everyone trust me? I'm not a liar!_

Shuichi stood up and ran to where his feet could take him. He stopped for a while catching his breath. He placed a hand on his chest.

_Damn, it's bursting like hell! I can't take this anymore! My heart! It's exploding!_

He felt like someone was stabbing his heart, or pinching it violently over and over. He cannot breathe.. literally. His body was stiffening and numb. This time, he placed two hands at his chest and bent down in pain.

_Please, anyone, I can't take it anymore, my heart.. is really going to explode._

Tears were welling up in his eyes. The pain in his heart grew 100 percent worse.

"Oh, if it isn't the infamous Shuichi Shindou. It's late, why are you there crawling in the cold?" A low voice asked.

Shuichi tried to focus his eyes to whoever it was that was speaking. His visions were blurred with tears. He crawled towards the man and tugged his pants.

"O – oneg.. uh.." Shuichi coughed.

"Filthy kid, don't touch me!"

"P – please.."

The stranger looked confusedly at Shuichi, then a smile tugged his lips.

"I – I can't breathe.." Shuichi tried to speak.

"You need help? Do you want the pain to go away?"

"H – Hai." Shuichi's eyes were almost closing, one hand clutched tightly on his chest, the other holding on to the man's pants.

"Very well then.' The man helped Shuichi, but the moment the singer stood up, he was kicked in the stomach.

"Aughh..hh" Shuichi breathed hard.

"Hehe, serves you right." The voice said, and Shuichi collapsed.

a/n: waah gomen my poor Shu! the fic just have to be like that.. don't worry, you'll be happy in the end..

next chap: Shuichi in the hospital.. plus a secret..


	5. Lost Heart

Disclaimer: don't own

Chapter 5: Lost Heart

Shuichi awoke from the constant pain is his chest. He coughed loudly as he held his chest. he was in an unfamiliar dark room, of what looked like an abandoned house.

"Look who's finally awake."

Shuichi turned around to see the owner of the voice. Grinning and looking madly at him was..

"Tachi.."

"Yo! I thought you didn't know me? So you're not that stupid enough huh?"

"Fuck you, why am I here?"

"Well, as far as I could remember, you asked for my help."

"I – I wouldn't have if I knew it was you."

"How cute, is that your way of saying thanks?" Tachi said.

"Shut up.. I'm going home." Shuichi said and stood up, only to be pushed by Tachi.

"Ouch. What was that for?" Shuichi said.

"That's for being a nuisance." Tachi said as he removed his shirt. He pinned Shuichi's wrists to the floor.

"And this is my way of accepting your thanks." He licked Shuichi's neck.

"Fuck Tachi, let me go!" he tried to kick the black haired singer, but he don't have the energy to do so. Tachi began ripping Shuichi's top and he bit Shuichi's tongue.

"Aargh.. Let me go! Let me go! Help! Please anyone! Help me!" Shuichi said in betweens Tachi's bites. Tachi pulled down Shuichi's pants and insertred a finger on Shuichi's entrance which made the pink haired to shout in pain.

"Please! Tachi.. stop!" Shuichi's tears were falling nonstop.

"Stop? I'm just beginning." He lowered his own pants and positioned himself on top of Shuichi.

"Tachi! P – please.. d – don't.. Tachi!" he cannot struggle Tachi's attacks.

"Just shut up and let me finish on what I want to do to you." Tachi punched Shuichi on the stomach.

CRASH!

"Sorry sis, it slipped from my hand." Shuni said.

"It's ok.. just help me clean up this mess." Maiko began picking up the pieces of shattered mirrror.

"Sorry again, I can't erase that words mom said to Shuichi. It's really bugging my mind."

"Me too, she's too much, Shuichi's been trying his best to please mom."

"Yeah.. that's ri – ow!" Shuni's finger was bleeding non – stop.

* * *

_"Don't say a word about this, or you'll be dead! See? This is a wonder of technology, I really love video cameras."_

_I can't take this anymore.._

Shuichi was walking weakly as the snow was falling slowly. Tachi warned him not to tell anyone about what happened or else he will show the media the video tape. He made a scar first on the poor singer's face for him not to forget their deal. His heart was numb as his body and he couldn't hear his mind speak. He tried his best to walk in the snow-covered streets, not knowing where to go. He stopped by a familiar exterior of a house and stared at it recalling who owned it. He rested his back on the wall and slouched on the floor. Good thing his cellphone was still with him.

Ring ring ring ring..

"Whoever you are, don't you know what time it is?" came the angsty reply.

"H – huh.. gomen.."

"Shuichi?"

"Hmm.. hai.. i – it's me." Shuichi's voice was weak as his body.

"Fuck brat, don't you know you woke me up in the middle of my sleep? What do you want?"

"Sorry Yuki.."

"Brat, your voice is terrible."

"..."

"Shuichi? Damn it brat, calling me in the middle of dawn then you won't answer me?" Yuki flared. "Shit!"

"Sorry Yuki.."

Yuki sighed and tried to calm himself.

"..."

"Yuki? A – are y- you still there?" Shuichi said, his phone was slowly slipping in his hand.

"Yes brat, I'm still here. You are really annoying you know that?"

"Uh huh.." he breathed hard and closed his eyes.

"Shuichi? Why did you call? Hurry, I want to go to sleep."

"Uhmm.. sorry Y – Yuki, I just.. just.. wanted to.. h – hear..y – your voice."

"Don't say shitty things Shuichi, this isn't the time to make pranks. I'm serious."

"I – I'm serious too Yuki.. Yuki.. I just want to hear your voice. it's.. so warm.."

Yuki felt cold air inside his aprtment. Then he remembeed the news. It was to snow terribly today.

"..."

"Brat? Are you still there?" Yuki asked. He could here the whirling sound of air and the hard breathings of Shuichi. "Brat?"

"Yuki.. just continue. Speak.. I want to h – hear your voice.."

"Brat, your voice is scaring me."

"S – sorry.."

"Don't say sorry. Where are you?" Yuki was suddenly worried.

"You know.. I really like to hear your voice. I love.. your voice.. it's so warm..m.. I... d -do you know Yuki? I.. I..like you.. I love.. you so much." As he said that, the phone slipped in his hand and his body fell on the ground.

"Shuichi? Shuichi? Brat, don't fool around! Hey! Answer me or you're not gonnabringyour ass here. Hey!"

Shuichi's body lay on the ground as the snow began to cover him and his worries. His heart stopped feeling the pain he encountered earlier. His tears were the only thing that's keeping him warm. His body was badly bruised. His scar's pain was washed away by snow. His shirt and pants which now looked like a rug was all dirty and torn.

Yuki on the otherhand crawled back to his bed but he can't erase Shuichi's voice in his head. He stared at his ceiling and recalled all that Shuichi said to him.

"Wanna hear my voice huh? You are really noisy and .. I..

_Let's stay together forever Yuki.. _he recalled Shuichi speak those words before.

"Shit, why does he bugg me so much.." he buried his face on the pillow.

* * *

"Shuichi? Oh my.. is that you?"

The former genki singer heard footsteps hurrying towards his direction.

"Shuichi! Oh my goodness. What happenned to you?"

He felt his body being raised out of the snow. Whoever it was who's carrying him is so warm.

"You're.. so warm.. is .. that .. you.. Yuki?"

The man didn't say anything and he carried Shuichi inside a car.

When Shuichi opened his eyes, he was greeted by white and blinding lights.

"Shuichi. Thank goodness you're awake."

"Oh.. it's.. you.. long time no see." Shuichi faked a smile.

"Shuichi, I thought I said I never wanna see you here again? How are you feeling?"

"F – fine I guess."

"Don't lie."

"Sensei, why am I here?"

"I saw you trembling in the cold earlier. What else should I do?" he brushed Shuichi's hair. "Nurse! Some cotton to clean up his wounds please."

"Sen..sei.."

"Shuichi, we are friends. Call me Kiichi." He rubbed a clean cloth on Shuichi's scar.

"Kiichi.."

"Shu chan, don't speak, I'll clean your wounds, it might hurt a bit."

"Yeah.. it really hurts.. inside.." Shuichi sobbed.

"Don't cry." Kiichi said kissing Shuichi's forehead.

"Kiichi.. sorry to cause you trouble.. but may I please stay here for a while?"

"I'll think about it Shu, for now just rest."

"Hmm.. hai.."

* * *

"Yuki san? Is Shuichi there?" Shuni asked the writer on the other line.

"He's not here."

"Is that so? Sorry, I thought he was there because there was a problem here..

"So? Why don't you ask the guitarist?"

"Umm.. Hiro is in Kyoto, and his bandmate said Shuichi's suspended so he's not at NG." Shuni said worried.

"Suspended?"

"Umm hai. It's effective today. Sorry, I need to hung up. Ja!" Shuni said.

"Hmn." Then the line went dead.

Yuki went outside to meet with his editor. He made sure the the door was locked when a seemingly shining thing caught his attention.

He walked towards it, slowly, the shining effect fading as he come nearer. He picked it up gently, shaking the snow which frosted it.

"This is..."

_"You know.. I really like to hear your voice. I love your voice.. it's so warm..m.. ... d -do you know Yuki? I.. I.. like you.. I love.. you so much."_

he dropped the gadget he was holding.

"Fuck it.. when he was calling me earlier.. does that mean.. he's just outside?" Yuki began to panick, but it didn't show in his face.

_Why's his cellphone here? Where is he? Shuichi you damn brat! You really are a burden! Why do you makeme worry too much? _

_Wait.. what's this?_

He bent down to investigate on a weak red color blended with snow.

_Could this be.. blood? _

_His voice was terrible.. was he hurt? Damn it Shuichi.. where are you!_

* * *

"Hiro.."

"Huh? Who's this?" he sipped a can of beer while holding his phone.

"It's me.. don't you remember?"

"Y – you.. wait.. is that you, Kiichi san?"

"Hai.. it's me.. I need you here, go to the hospital."

"Sure thing, but why?" Hiro asked.

"It's about Shuichi."

"Shu.. ok, I'll try my best to be there by midnight becuse I'm here in Kyoto."

"See you then.."

The line went dead.

_Shuichi huh? What happened this time?_

Hiro arrived in the hospital before midnight, it was difficult for him to travel with terrible snow, and lots of people who were around to do some late night Christmas shopping. Kiichi greeted him at the lobby.

"Konbanwa Kiichi, what happened?"

"I should be asking you that. Come and follow me." He directed Hiro to a room at the end of the corridor. As he opened it, he saw Shuichi sleeping, the horrible scar to be noticed first.

"Shu.. what.. happened?" Hiro said worried.

"I saw him at around 3 am, lying in the grounds of Tokyo, covered with snow. His clothes were dirty and torn, there was blood in his pants.. which I believe you know the cause.. his scar was already there when I saw him." Kiichi explained, carressing Shuichi's peaceful sleeping face.

"Shuichi! Shuchi.. who did this to you? And why was he outside at that time.. at a terrible snow.." Hiro panted. He was too exhausted from his travel, and he felt Shuichi's tireness.

"Hiro.. Do you know about.. Shuichi's heart?" Kiichi asked, his serious face gleamed in the moonlight.

"Shuichi's.. don't tell me it has stopped beating!" he crumpled Kiichi's colar.

"Calm down Hiroshi, can you see, he's still breathing." Kiichi's glasses twinkled.

"So.. what about it? What about his heart?" Hiro asked sitting on one of the empty beds.

"I thought you were bestfriends? How come you didn't know?" Kiichi increased Hiro's impatience.

"Damn it Kiichi! Get straight to the point!"

"When he was around thirteen, do you remember what happened?" Kiichi asked.

"Thirteen.. a lot of things happened when we were thirteen."

"A particular accident.. do you remember now?"

"Uh.. oh.. yes, I remember.. that was the year their father died.."

"Hai.. that's right. And do you know what I discovered about Shuichi at that time?"

"No, tell me."

"According to my studies, he has.. a very.. very weak heart."

"So.. what do you mean? He's like Shuni?"

"Shuni? Yes, Shuni has also a weak heart. But it is nothing compared to Shuichi's. Shuichi's heart is much weaker, probably the weakest I handled in my doctor life. When his brother was in the hospital, he was not allowed by their mother to visit.. that's when, I start noticing the signs.. he trembled and cannot breathe, he was too numb."

"Then why didn't you tell it to his mom?" Hiro asked.

"I tried to tell their mother about it, but her ears were closed.. closed because of the death of her husband, closed because Shuni was in the hospital, and closed because she blames Shuichi for all of it."

"That's.. that's true.."

"And when Shuichi woke up, he was alone in the hospital room, crying all by himself. I stood up beside him. At his young age, he pleaded to me not to tell it to everybody, specially their mom.. he said it will just add up to their family's burden."

"Shuichi.."

"I agreed. I know it's not a wise choice specially that I'm a doctor, but I made a deal with him, that if he promised to take care of his heart, I will not tell it to anybody."

"And so, that's why I didn't know.. he thinks about others first.. instead of worrying over his own problems." Hiro was almost crying.

"This incident, I don't know the whole details.. but, I think, his heart now, is deeply wounded, it may take a lot of time to heal.."

"Shit, did this happen yesterday? He was suspended at NG, then Shuni told me there was a problem in their home and Shuichi's nowhere to be found. Then.. this.. he was.." Hiro couldn't continue what he wanted to say. He was in a brink of tears.

"Hiroshi, stay strong for him." Kiichi gripped Hiro's shoulder and exited the room.

A/N: okay.. I know, I know, I'm being hard on Shuichi.. but don't worry guys.. he'll be happy in the end! See ya ol next chap!

**next chap: brotherly love and brotherly quarrel.**

**a/n: Kiichi is not my own character either. he is a lot older than Shu and Hiro, and is a very nice person.**

**see ya ol nxt chap.. don't forget to review!**

**hokage**


	6. Shuichi's past

**a/n: thanks to those who reviewed! I wanna kiss you all! but, I'll just convert it to a continuation chap. hehe.. noodles anyone?**

**last chap: ****Shuichi manages to live, thanks to Kiichi, his doctor.**** Shuichi's weak heart was revealed.**

**this chap: Shuichi and Shuni fights, where will Shuichi go?**

**Chapter 6: Shuichi's past**

_"dad, mom! look! the whether is so nice!" Shuichi pointed at the clouds._

_"Yes honey, it's a very wonderful day that's why we are bringing you to somewhere nice!." Mrs. Shindou said._

_"Dad, look at the birds! I can hear them sing!" Shuni said._

_The Shindou family was inside a car. They were having a vacation on a nice sunny day, free from worries and stress. Shuichi sat on the front seat beside his dad who was driving the car. Their mom, Shuni and Maiko were all in the back seat exchanging stories._

_"So dad? Where are you gonna take us?" Shuichi jumped on his seat._

_"Shuichi, sit down, this is a dangerous road. My goodness, you're thirteen and you still act like a child!" Their dad scolded and laughed at the same time._

_"Can't help it dad, it's been a while since we went out like this." Shuichi's head was completely exposed outside the car windows. "dad! The wind is so great!" he shouted._

_"Shuichi, if you don't sit down, your head will be cut off!" their dad warned._

_"Sorry." Shuichi prepared to sit down, when a huge truck appeared from nowhere and was about to hit their car. Their dad managed to avoid the truck by turning the car to the opposite direction, away from the other vehicle, so that Shuichi's head will be safe, as well as their family. the truck driver appeared to be drunk, and in fact, his truck smashed on a wall._

_CRASH!_

_"Daddy!" Maiko and Shuni shouted. their car hit the opposite supporting wall, the car's weight crashing on it._

_"Shuni? Shuni!" Maiko gasped and tried to shook his brother who fainted._

_"Mom! speak! what are we gonna do! mom!" Maiko wailed._

_It was a horrible damage to their car, the windows were broken, the front left part was smashed. two of their wheels were flat, or did it explode? But forget about the car, inside, a future pink haired singer was trembling in pain.. pain in his mind and chest. In front of him, he saw from his own eyes, their dad's weak and sleeping figure, drenched in blood._

_"Shuichi.. safe.." their dad said before slipping away._

_Car sirens were so loud and everywhere.._

_"Dad! dad! wake up! dad! daaaaaa -_

"Waah!" Shuichi woke up, the blankets fell on his waist as he sat up. His sweat flowing freely in his cheeks.He felt something moved, and found a seemingly familiar brunette crawled beside him.

"H – Hi..hiro.."

"Hmm.. Shu, are you feeling well?" Hiro said weakly rubbing his eyes while yawning.

"Doushite koko ni?" Shuichi asked. (a/n: why are you here?)

"Hmm, Kiichi called me earlier." Hiro said with a yawn again.

"Ah, gomen, were you worried? Sorry, I know you were at Kyoto." Shuichi lowered his head.

"Shu.." Hiro lifted Shuichi's chin "If you continue bawling over useless things, I'm going to kiss you."

"N – No way! Pervert!" he winced as he mentioned the word.

"Why, Shu, what's wrong?" he placed a hand on the singer's shoulder.

He trembled as the hand touched him. He has not yet recovered from the shock Tachi gave him, plus, his nightmare which returned increased his heart's pain.

"Shu.. don't be afraid.. I'm here." He hugged his bestfriend whose tears were flowing nonstop.

"Hi..ro.. Hiro!"

"Shu, tell me.. tell me what happened."

Shuichi calmed down first before relating to Hiro the story.

"Wh – when I went home, mom scolded me again.. and.. she.. she pushed me outside.. I was hurt.. so I ran away from home.. then, I can't.. breathe, and my heart was bursting.. I called for help.. and then someone picked me up.. but.. but.. (sniff) when I woke up, it was Tachi, and he.. did it.. to me.."

"Shit.. Tachi die! We'll sing it to the police once you've healed.."

"N – no.. Hiro don't.. he had it recorded, and when I tell it to the police, he'll hand it to the media. I don't want others to know about it."

"But Shuichi! Tachi has to pay!"

"Hiro, I'll be fine.. don't worry."

"Shuni was looking for you. What would I tell him?"

"Don't tell anything, I'll go back home tomorrow."

"Shuichi.. I now know.. about your heart.. Kiichi told me about it."

"Oh..Uhhmm.. it's ok, but please don't tell my family about it."

"Shu chan, take this medicine with you, drink it thrice a day, so that your heart can endure heavy loads." Kiichi said as he entered the room.

"Thanks Kiichi." He reached for the bag of medicine that Kiichi handed him.

* * *

"Yuki! Yuki san! I know you're there! Open up!"

"What the fuck Shuni.. I'm taking a..

..nap." Yuki stared at the pink haired kid.

"Hey.. are you sure you are Shuni?"

"Why Yuki? Aren't you sure?" Shuni stepped inside. Today, his hair, was just normal, not styled or anything, like Shuichi's. If you put Shuichi beside Shuni now, you can't tell the difference.

"So.. you've graduated from your hairstyles and started imitating your twin huh?"

"Hehe, I admire Shuichi.. and besides, you told me changing styles might damage my hair! I don't want that to happen." Shuni said and sat on the couch.

"Why are you here? You are an eyesore."

"Will you still be telling that if I give you this?" he waved a box of stawberry shortcake in Yuki's face.

"Of course.. I can buy that anytime" he lit a cigarette.

"Yuki!" Shuni snatched the stick out of Yuki's mouth. "This is bad for your health!"

"So what? Don't start acting like my mot-

He stopped in his tracks. Those were the exact words he said to Shuichi when they had a fight days ago. The memory of Shuichi's voice flashed in his mind again.

"Yuki? What's wrong? You're pale." He placed a hand on Yuki's forehead.

"It's nothing," he slapped Shuni's hand.

"Yuki! Don't be so difficult! I'm just concerned!"

"_Yuki, don't be so mean, I was just trying to help because I'm concerned!"_

"Go away Shuni, I don't want to see you again, you are bothering me." He pushed Shuni.

"Yuki.. don't be like that! Don't you know, Shuichi told me that you are really a nice person!" tears were forming in Shuni's eyes.

"So?"

"I also think you are nice.. and special." His voice was barely audible at the last word. "Please, I know, I'm annoying you, but.. please.. don't hate me." Shuni was starting to cry.

"Go away Shuni, this is a waste of time, I have work to do."

"Yu –

"Just go."

"Ok.." Shuni reached for the doorknob and closed the door gently.

"Twins are really much alike." Yuki concluded.

* * *

"Shuichi! Where were you this past few days?" Shuni ran towards his twin and placed a coat over him. "Oh my.. what happenned to your beautiful face?"

"Uhm, it's nothing, just a product of my stupidity. I stayed at Hiro's."

"Damn him! He said he was in Kyoto!" he lead Shuichi in his room.

"No, don't blame him, I told him to make that excuse. But right now, he is really in Kyoto." Shuichi covered up for Hiro.

"Shuichi, Are you hiding something from me?" Shuni sensed his twin's wierd actions. "Tell me, when you ran away, what happenned? How did you get that scar?"

"What? You don't believe me?" Shuichi glared. _Why is it that when I tell the truth, no one believes me? And now, here I am lying.._

"Shu, that's not it, I know, and I can feel, you are hiding things from me. We are brothers, and Maiko is worried too."

"Well, you have the wrong feeling." _Damn, why am I cold to him?_

"Shu, forget everything that mom said, I mean, we all know it's not your fault, her mind is just closed so she won't lis –

"Shuni, stop talking.."

"But Shuichi –

"I said shut up!" Shuichi shouted but realized his mistake.

PUNCH!

The singer held his face.

"Why are you like that? Why won't you tell me everything that's bugging you? I can feel it Shu! Don't be stupid! You are my -

DRIP!

"Shu.. Shu.. gomen.. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to.." Shuni stared at his twin. Blood was dripping from Shuichi's mouth, and he had a shocked expression on his face.

"Of all.. of all people.. why does it have to be you?" Shuichi covered his mouth and glared at Shuni.

"Gomen, Shuichi.. gomen! I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to hit you.. I was just worrying because –

"Shut the fuck up!" Shuichi stood up and pushed Shuni, then he ran away again.

"Shuichi! Shuichi! Wait! Shuichi!" he tried his best to follow his twin, but Shuichi was just too fast. When he reached the gate, Shuni held his chest in pain.

"Aurgh.. it's.. hap..happening again! M – Maiko! Maiko! Tasukete!" he raised his free hand towards nowhere, hoping for help to come. He fell on the ground breathing heavily.

* * *

"Oh my.. Shuni! Maiko! Come and help me!" their mom ran towards her son and tried to carry him. He saw Shuni curled on the floor as she was checking the gates.

"Mom! What happenned to him? Oh geez.. we should call the doctor!" Maiko came running towards his brother's side.

"Yes.. please hurry! He can't breathe! Just like before! Oh no.. what happened Shu?" their mother was almost crying.

"Shu.." Shuni muttered. "Shu..augh..cough cough" his eyes were closed, and he was calling for Shuichi.

"Shuichi? Was he here? Is he the reason for this Shuni?" their mom asked, furious.

"Shuichi.." was Shuni's reply before he finally fainted.

* * *

Shuichi ran to where his feet would take him. He didn't care about the chills the falling snow was giving him, his heart was aching again, and his mouth continues to bleed. He tripped and fell on the cold street. He tried to stood up so nobody would see him, and he just sat on where he is for a long time.

_Damn it.. it was my fault in the first place.. he was just worried.. but I couldn't tell him the truth.. I don't want him to be hurt if he knew the reason.. Shuni.. I'm so.. sorry._ He sobbed. _I couldn't tell you the truth.. because I will just hurt you.. I'm sorry..I know you are just concerned!_ He cried silently and stood up to walk. He paused in front of a tall apartment.. a cold and dark apartment, yet, he gathered the courage to knock.

Knock knock knock knock..

But there was no answer. He looked at his watch. It was 11 in the evening.

_I'm so pathetic._ He sighed. _Waking up someone in the middle of the night.. I'm really stupid_. He fought back tears and prepared to leave.

CLICK

"Oi.." a voice said.

Shuichi's heart raced as he heard the voice. He stayed rooted at his position until his head was greeted with a fist.

"Uh.. umm.. sorry to bother you.." Shuichi said without looking up.

He felt his chin being raised up, and he saw golden tiger eyes.

"So?" the voice said in a what's - your - reason - for - knocking - and - disturbing tone.

"Umm.. sorry.. I know you were sleeping.. I'll just leave.."

"What happened to your face?"

"Oh.. this scar? It's just a product of my stupidity." Shuichi replied nervously.

"Come inside."

"What? Oh.. no.. no, I'll just bother you and..

"Then why did you came all the way here?"

"S – sorry.. Yuki."

"Stupid brat.. it's snowing outside, and you wear those." Yuki pointed his blood stained hands on Shuichi's tank top.

"Oh geez, Yuki! Your hand is bleeding!" Shuichi ran towards Yuki and held his hand.

"S.T.U.P.I.D.!" Yuki stated. "That's your blood not mine! I held your chin right?"

"Ch – chin? What about my chin?"

"Didn't you know? Your mouth is bleeding." Yuki said and lit a cigarette.

"What? How.. oh.." he remembered that Shuni hit him. "Sorry, I need to go to the washroom."

"Hmn."

Shuichi washed his face and wiped the blood from his mouth. He cleaned his wounds with water.

"Brat! What's taking you so long?" Yuki called. "You do not plan on conserving all the water right?"

Shuichi slid the door open and was surprised to see that Yuki was holding a medicine kit.

"Sit on the couch." Yuki ordered.

"But.. Yuki.. I'm fine.. you don't need to –

"You're in my house so you'll do anything I want." He pushed Shuichi to sit down and applied medicine on Shuichi's scar and other wounds.

"Thanks Yuki.. You're really kind."

"Hmn."

"Umm.. ano.. I know it's a big favor to ask.. but.. umm.. you see.. I.. ow!"

"Spit it out kid." He pressed the cotton strongly on Shuichi's open wound.

"I.. want.. no.. if it's ok.. may.. I.. stay here.. may I please stay here, even just for tonight? I'll leave early.. I promise I won't be noisy – ow!"

"It has stopped snowing." Yuki said out of the blue.

"Oh.. ok.. thanks for helping me anyway." He stood up to leave, but he felt a strong hand pulling him back.

"I didn't tell you to go." Yuki fixed his eyes on him.

"Huh? Wh –

Yuki traced Shuichi's scar. It ran from the left side of his forehead, diagonally running to the bridge of his nose then his right cheek. The singer tensed up.

"Stay for tonight." And with that Yuki brushed his lips on Shuichi's.

The singer's wide eyes widened, and he blushed.

_Wow.. is this really happening? I must be dreaming!_

Yuki pushed Shuichi gently on the sofa and kissed him hungrily..

No matter what pain Shuichi was feeling right now, it will definitely be washed by a long and sweet night such as this one..

A/n: waah! Sorry to end it there. Another slump visited me, and so I welcomed it.. hehe.. please review guys! Reviews mean a lot to me! sorry for not putting a lemon scene. wehehe.

**Next chap: plot twist! Shuichi runs away for the third time because he heard something that shocked his entire life.. and it has a connectionwith his Yuki!**


	7. Gifts

Disclaimer: don't own

Summary: Shuni and Shuichi choose their gifts for a certain special novelist.

**a/n: sorry for the lame title.. I'm so sleepy.. and my ramen wasn't enough. by the way, sorry for portraying Shu's mom like that.. It's just part of my plot. I'm sure she's a good person though. thanks to those who reviewed! arigato gozaimasu!**

Chapter 7: Gifts

Shuichi woke up from the terrible cold, and felt something beside him. It was Yuki, the weak and harmless ray of the sun touching his face. He smiled and remembered what happened last night, although he was not sure if Yuki knew who he was. Shuni already stopped his hairstyles, so it will be difficult for everybody to tell which is which.

"Good morning Yuki." He whispered and planted a kiss on the sleeping writer's forehead. "Thanks for everything." He stood up to gather his things to leave just as he promised.

"Where do you think you're going?" mumbled the blonde.

"Ah.. umm.. ohayou Yuki.. did I wake you up? Sorry. I'm leaving now just as I promised." Shuichi said nervously.

Yuki pulled back Shuichi by the hair, that the singer landed on the bed.

"Ouch.. what was that for?" Shuichi resisted.

"I forgot to ask you, why was your mouth bleeding last night?"

"Oh... that? Geez, I honestly do not remember." Shuichi lied.

"Baka, what kind of memory do you have?" Yuki sat at the edge of the bed. "Is that your phone ringing? Answer it, it's so noisy." He rubbed his ear and yawned.

"Ah.. hai." Shuichi searched for his new phone. "Hiro? It's so early, why did you call?"

"Shuichi? Where are you? Go to the hospital quick!"

"Why? Who's in the hospital?" he asked.

"Shuni! He was sent to the hospital last night. He was seen in front of your house, clutching his chest. Com'n! Shuichi! Shuichi?"

The singer dropped the phone.

_Shuni is in the hospital? In the hospital? In front of.. our house.. he fainted.. oh no.. was it because of me? If I didn't run.. this wouldn't happen.. Shuichi! You really are useless and a burden!_

"Bye Yuki! Thanks for everything, sorry I have to leave.. there was an emergency." He said quickly and stormed out of the confused writer's aprtment. He put on his shirt on the way, and he was greeted by Maiko and Hiro in front of the hospital room.

"H – Hiro... Shuni? Where.. where is Shuni?" he gasped for breath.

"Oh geez Shuichi, what happened to your face?" Maiko asked.

"Relax Shuichi, Shuni is alright now, but I think, you shouldn't show yourself to mom, he thinks that you were the reason for this."

"M – me?" he panted.

"Hai, Shuni was muttering your name when mom found him. What's wrong? Did you have a fight?" Maiko asked.

"F – fight. Yes, we had a fight, but I didn't know it'll end up like this. I'm so sorry."

"Now now Shu, it's not really your fault. So don't blame yourself." Hiro patted him on the back.

"No Hiro, it's really my fault. Where is he? I need to see him. I want to say sorry." he pushed Hiro and forced himself outside.

"Shuichi no!" Maiko warned but Shuichi already entered.

The room was colorful and bright. There, beside Shuni's bed was their mom, peeling fruits for his favorite son.

"Wow, you really don't have a conscience Shuichi!" he was greeted by their mom.

"M- mom.. I told you, it's not his fault.. I was just..

"See what you have done Shuichi. First your father and then Shuni!"

"Mom, I just wanted to apologize. I know it was my fault. I'm sorry."

"Shuichi! Don't say sorry! We know it's not your fault! I'm being forceful at that time, I'm the one to–

"Enough Shuni, we know it's my fault, you were just concerned,but I caused you that."

"You are really helpless Shuichi!" Shuni fumed. "Why not try defending yourself? You are so weak! Don't come crying here apologizing for a mistake you didn't do!" Shuni tried to shout, his heart and body was still weak.

"Shuni! the doctor advised you to rest! Calm down!" Maiko pushed Shuni gently back to bed." She turned to Shuichi. "Let's settle this some other time Shuichi, go home now."

"Who's going home?" their mother asked. "Gather all your things Shuichi, and don't plan on coming to our house again!"

"Mom?" her kids asked.

"You heard me. You're not going back there Shuichi."

* * *

"Hiro kun, where is he?" Maiko asked as the guitarist went back to the hospital.

Hiro just shook his head.

"I'm sorry, you have to hear something like that." Maiko apologized.

"It's ok, Shuichi told me everything so I wasn't really shocked." He said. "Well, a little bit I guess."

"Oh. I wonder where he will go?"

Hiro shrugged. "Maybe he'll go to my place later. He told me not to follow him. Honestly, I'm nervous for him."

* * *

"Hmmmm.. then how much?"

"About 10,500 yen per month sir." (a/n: sorry, I don't know anything about money convertions.)

"Ok, I'll take it."

"Thank you. Please enjoy your stay here."

Shuichi slumped on an uncomfortable futon and cried. After getting all his things from their house, he decided not to be a bother to both Hiro and Yuki, so he rented for an apartment. It was small and dusty, not to mention it'll not protect you from terrible cold. He sighed as he noticed that the snow was falling again.

"Well, what can I do, Christmas is just around the corner." He wiped his tears and ate his soba.

Ring.. Ring..

His cellpone was flashing madly at him, commanding to be answered. Shuichi chose not to, he wanted to be alone at times like this. Anyway, he was sure it was Hiro, demanding where he is, or what happened to him.

* * *

"Ah Yuki san, sorry to disturb, but is Shuichi here?" Hiro went to Yuki's aprtment after not hearing anything from his bestfriend.

"Why would he go here?"

"Um well, you see, he can't go to work because he's suspended, and he didn't come to my place either." Hiro said.

"Then go to his parent's place then."

"Oh.. you haven't heard?" Hiro asked.

"Heard what?" Yuki asked confused.

"Ah.. so he didn't tell you about it.. sorry, I need to go. Thanks and bye Yuki san!" Hiro mounted his motorcycle and left.

"Bastard." Yuki muttered. He walked back inside the living room.

"Eiri – san.. it's me.." the voice answering machine sounded. "Are you sleeping? It's cold isn't it?" Seguchi Tohma's voice was warm. "Tomorrow, be sure to go home ok? Everybody will be there, and will be expecting you. Don't stress yourself ok? Good night."

Yuki glared at the answering machine. He almost forgot that tomorrow's gonna be an important season. It became an Uesugi tradition to go back on their father's house to celebrate Christmas together, but of course, he won't do it.

* * *

Shuni returned home from the hospital before Christmas. Shuichi was nowhere to be found, and their mother didn't care. Shuni just slouched on his bed thinking over millions of things, specially Yuki.

"Argh, so what will I get him?" he buried his face on the pillow. "Definitely not strawberry shortcake, I want something that he'll cherish forever." He talked to himself. He finally admitted to himself that he liked Yuki, not just because of his cool looks, but also his intelligence, and his not seen kindness.

"Let's see.." he went out for a bit of Christmas shopping. There are a lot of people everywhere. He wore a cap and sunglasses for disguise because people might think he's Shuichi.

He lowered his sunglasses as he saw a shining thing by a glass window. He peered inside. It was a jewelry store. Only a few people were there.

"I guess, my wallet will be empty after going out here." He wandered inside the store.

"Excuse me sir, may I help you?" a saleslady attended.

"Uh.. hmmmm.. no. I mean yes.. what kind should I give to a writer?" he looked at the rings, bracelets and earrings.

"Oh.. a writer! You're lucky to be here sir. Why don't you give him this?" the lady handed a long and thin block velvet box. Shuni examined it's content and admired it's beauty.

"Wow, just what he'll need. I'll take this." He payed for the package and prepared to leave when another thing caught his eye.

"Uh.. excuse me miss, may I see this one?" Shuni pointed at a gold gleaming thick strand behind the glass cover.

"Here. It's so elegant but simple. I even wish my boyfriend will come here and buy it for me." The saleslady said dreamily.

"Really? Hehe.. sorry.. but I think, he'll not be able to give this to you. I'll take this too."

"Aw man, you are such a sweetie. I wish you were my boyfriend. I'm sure, the person that will receive that from you will be very happy."

"You think so?" Shuni smiled happily inside and paid for the 2nd package.

"Hai! As long as it comes from the heart, even a not so elegant jewelry will be admired.. and treasured." The saleslady said and received Shuni's cash.

"Oh geez.. I ran out of cash.." was all he said after he went out the store. "Just as I thought."

_But I don't mind. I wish that lady is right. I hope he'll like this. Oh wait a minute. Now, how will I go home?_

And Shuni started to walk a long mile..

* * *

Shuichi wore a blue bandana that matched his jacket. He put on his shades and faced the mirror.

"So cool!" Shuichi squealed admiring himself. The smile he had earlier faded as he stared at his awful scar, and bruised chin.

_Baka Shuchi, this is not the time to think about useless things. He convinced himself. But the scar just reminded him of the terrible cold he encountered that day. Yuki's coldness, his suspension at work, their mother's scolding, and the most brutal of them all – Tachi's attack, which caused him that scar. All of those were clouding back in his mind, with the addition of being betrayed by a woman he loves dearly – their mother._

_Ouch! My head and heart! it hurts too much! _He clutched the left side of his chest and sobbed.

_Stop thinking Shuichi.. stop looking at your scar.. stop..stop!_

"STOP!"

He striked the mirror with his fist which caused some shards to wound his knuckles.

"Baka!" he blamed himself and applied medication to his poor hand.

* * *

"Wow.. that's it!" Shuichi ran at the corner of the mall, wearing his earlier disguise, with the addition of new bandage on his hand. He finished attending to his wounds, and proceeded to his planned agenda.

"Excuse me, may I take a look at this?" he pointed at a crystal with blue liquid inside.

"Here sir, this is the newest and most expensive product we have, exclusive for this season." A saleslady handed the crystal to Shuichi.

_It's so beautiful.. it will match Yuki's georgousness._

"I like it." Shuichi whispered.

"Many shoppers admire and wish to buy that, even I!" the saleslay shrugged. "It's really hard to earn money this days."

"I see. Well, I'll take it." Shuichi said.

"Really sir? You'll take it?" the lady exclaimed and leaned closer to Shuichi. "No offense sir, but that's very expensive." She whispered and looked around to see that nobody is listening to them. "There are a lot of cheaper products here if you like."

"Hehe, sorry, but I'll take it, I bet you are angry on the owner of this stand huh?" Shuichi whispered back.

"Yeah, I mean, he's a grinch." The lady scratched her head and took the crystal from Shuichi to be wrapped. "We hate him, I don't even know why I'm working here, he won't give us a bonus."

"That caught my attention immediately so I have to buy it.. it's for someone special." Shuichi explained.

"Kyaa! I knew this was for a lover! I'm sure she'll like this!" the lady handed the wrapped package to Shuichi.

_Hehe, but that special someone is a he._

"Um, thanks, miss." Shuichi smiled and skipped happily to find other gifts.

He stopped to eat first at his favorite fastfood, and then stepped inside a music store to buy a present for himself. He went outside hugging his new Nittle Grasper Christmas special, while munching on a strawberry pockey.

"Oh honey.. please buy this for me." He heard a high pitched tone on his way home.

"I'll buy anything for you, because I love you." A guy replied.

"Chu! Thanks honey! I love you too." The girl nuzzled on her lover.

"Wow, public display of affections." A man beside Shuichi muttered and then walked away, together with the other 'audiences'.

Shuichi decided to go inside that store to find other presents. The couple he saw earlier made him curious. He spotted nice and shining bracelets and rings, together with other pieces of jewelry.

"Hi sir, may I help you?" the saleslady interrupted Shuichi.

"Uh.. I want a closer look to that one." Shuichi pointed.

"Here sir, perfect for a lover." The lady said simply.

"Yes, it's simple and beautiful."

"Will you get it?" she asked.

"Hai," Shuichi said immediately. "But I still want to check on other stuff."

He spent an hour musing over the gleaming beauties, deciding on what to buy. Finally, he chose his top three.

"Ack! I never knew picking up jewelry will be this hard!" he said scratching his head.

"It's not that hard sir, just choose the one you think is best, after all, whatever you pick will be appreciated." The lady smiled at him.

"Geez." Shuichi sighed. "Fine, I'll buy those three."

"Eh! H – hey, are you sure sir?" the lady almost fell down.

"Yup, no problem, I'll just choose at home and give the remaining to others."

"Oh.. I see. Here sir, this is your change, and the packages. Thank you for coming!"

"Oh yeah, I'll buy that one too!" Shuichi pointed at the thing he chose earlier, then walked out after paying for it.

"Wow, that kid is sure rich!" the saleslady said.

A/n: yaha.. sorry to end the chap there. What do you think are Shuichi and Shuni's gift to their dear Yuki? Not hard to guess right?

**Next chap: Yuki recieves a lot of meaningful gifts from the Shindou twins, and hears a lot of secret.. weeeee..**

**please review! mwuah! mwuahaha..**


	8. Snow covered heart

**a/n: sorry for portraying Shuichi's mother like that.. i just need to do it for the plot.. I believe she's a nice person though..**

**please forgive me for my grammar mistakes.. i've been cursing because it takes a lot of time before I could send, save and post this fic..i've been repeating this editing thing twice..**

Last chap: Shuichi and Shuni buy their gifts for Yuki.

Summary: A lot of gift and angst giving.

Disclaimer: don't own

Chapter 8: Snow covered heart

"There.. I hope he likes it." A pink haired kid said. He decided on what type of arrangement he would make to his gifts. After all, it's hard to please the receiver.

"Shuni! Come here! Just two hours to go before Christmas! Let's do some picture taking!" their mom shouted. She was busy preparing some stuff for Christmas, and she was being helped by Maiko.

Shuni went down to look at the wonderful food their mom prepared. It looks good and tempting. The table was elegantly set, and there were a lot of presents below the Christmas tree.

"Mom, is it alright? I mean.. Shuichi's not here, this is suppose to be a family gathering." Maiko nervously said.

"Maiko, why do you worry to much of that Shuichi? He doesn't treat us like family so why should he be here?" their mom protested.

Maiko bowed down in pity for Shuichi. She loves her brother so much, and she was sure that his fight with Shuni will be resolved. She wished their mother will open her heart again and be nice to Shuichi.

She felt a gentle grip on her shoulder.

"Don't worry Maiko. Shuichi'll be fine." Shuni whispered and Maiko put her hand over Shuni's.

"You think so?" she asked, a little bit worried.

"Y –yeah, I think. I hope he forgives me."

* * *

"Shuichi, where are you? Aren't you going at the NG party?" Fujisaki said on the phone. "Call me once you heard this." He said and put down his cellphone.

"So?" K asked.

Fujisaki shooked his head. "He's not answering his phone. Hiro'll not be here too, I guess, it's just the rest of us."

* * *

A pink haired kid with a scar smiled as he finished preparing his gifts. He sat happily on the floor, admiring his presents to others.

"Oh, how I wish he'll like this." He clutched a round glass container which contained his second gift to Yuki."

He stood up and left his apartment to do some Santa activities.

* * *

"Oh, it's already this time?" Maiko exclaimed. It was just ten minutes before Christmas when they heard a soft knock on the door.

"Who will it be at a time like this?" Shuni asked, tasting one of the desserts.

Their mom volunteered on checking who it was. She opened the door, and found that there was no one outside. She looked again, just to make sure.

"Hmph, what a prank they –

She stopped at her words. In front of the door lay three small packages, neatly wrapped.

"Mom? Who's at the door? What's taking you so long?" Maiko approached.

"There's no one, but I found these." She handed the packages to her daughter.

"Hey, you shouldn't get that! What if it's a bomb or something?" Shuni panicked.

"Shuni, your'e starting to act like Shuichi, you read action books too much." Their mom said.

"Hey, maybe that's Shuichi's. You know, maybe his fans sent him that?" Maiko said.

"Shu.. wait." Shuni grabbed the packages from Maiko. "Hey, take a look at the cards. This is Shuichi's handwriting."

"Hehe, yeah, messy and all, I think that's Shuichi's." Maiko said. "But where is he?"

Shuni fell silent. He knew too well that it was his twin's gift to them. He felt bad. He felt bad that Shuichi was not there with them, felt bad because he doesn't have a gift for his twin, and most of all, he felt bad for thinking only about Yuki.

_Oh, well, I can buy him a present and apologize tomorrow. I just hope I'll be able to find him._

"Hey, it's 12:00! Merry Christmas minna!" Maiko kissed Shuni and their mom.

"Merry Christmas!" they greeted one another. They sat around the dining table and ate. They had turkey, salad, japanese foods, soba, ham, cake, wine and even pockeys.

"Yay! It's time for gift giving!" Maiko jumped after eating and gathered all the gifrts under the tree.

"S – sorry mom, I have to go for a while, I promised a friend I'll be meeting him. I'll just give my gift to him then I'll return immediately." Shuni asked for permission.

"Eh? Your'e leaving? What about your gifts? Open them first." Maiko said.

"Just be home safe Shuni, it's dangerous out there." Their mom said and tore the wrappers. "Wow, earrings! Thanks Maiko."

"I'll open my presents later. Bye! Gotta go!" Shuni ran out of their house.

* * *

"Aniki! Where are you? Mika's a scary looking twig here cursing you. Com'n, it's Christmas, don't you have any heart?" Tatsuha said on the phone.

"I already told her I don't wanna come." Yuki said on the other line. He walked in the cold streets and inhaled his smoke.

"Eiri you bastard! I should've grabbed you by force earlier dammit. Father's angry and killing us here!" Mika stole the phone from their younger brother.

"Whatever, I'm still not coming. Anyway, even if I drive there, I'll not make it on time." He was in the park, leaning against the rails and admiring the Christmas spirit.

"Eiri san, don't you think it's nice if you just show yourself here? I mean, it's ok if your'e late, we'll wait for you if you want."

"Nice try Tohma, but no, I'm still not coming." Yuki threw his cigarette butt on the ground and turned around. The snow was starting to fall.

"Yuki."

"Eiri san.." Tohma began.

"Gotta hung up." Yuki said and turned off his cellphone.

"What are you doing here?" Yuki asked.

"Um, actually, I was on the way to your house, luckily I saw you here."

"It's snowing, I believe you should be at your house spending the season."

"But you are here also, so what's the difference?"

There was silence. As golden eyes pierced through amethyst ones, the snow began piling up, and Christmas lights were brighter than ever.

"Merry Christmas Yuki."

"Hn." Yuki replied and turned to leave.

"Ah.. wait."

Yuki stopped.

"Ano.. I just want to hand this gift to you. I hope you'll like it. I spent a long time thinking what to buy. Please accept this." He extended his arms for Yuki to receive the gift.

Yuki took it and smirked. "You spent a long time huh? Let's see." He began examining the package before tearing the wrapper.

"Eh? Your'e going to open it here?"

"Why not? It's mine now right? I have the right to do whatever I want." Yuki said.

"Uh, sure, just don't tell me it's crap." The kid whispered.

Yuki's eyes narrowed a little as he saw what the gift was.

"Hey, don't look like that. Tell something." The kid mumbled.

"Well, I don't receive this kind before. I'll accept it." He examined the long and thin box. Inside it was a pen with a silver and blue covering. Yuki's name was engraved in script at one side. (a/n: you know.. elegant and expensive pens.)

"Really! Wow, I'm so.. hey.. wait! Where are you going!" Yuki was turning his back again.

"You said you only plan on giving this to me. I accepted it, and I don't have a gift for you so now I'm going."

"Eh! Wait! There's something else!" he got something from his pocket and handed it to Yuki.

"What's this?" Yuki asked dumbfounded.

"Why don't you open first so you'll know?"

Yuki opened the second package and was surprised to see that it was a gold, simple and shining bracelet. It was a double band bracelet, the small chains connected perfectly.

"Uh.. did you like it? That was the last one in the store, and they said something like that was rare and –

"Why are you giving me this?" Yuki glanced at him.

"Why? It's because I want to give Yuki a present.. because..

Shuichi ran towards Yuki's home and cursed himself again for not bringing his jacket. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt and pants, but it was still totally cold.

"Geez, I'm freezing. I hope Yuki's still awake."

_Oh, no other choice, I didn't bring my shades for disguise. There are some people at this street so I'll take the long cut._

And with that he turned and ran towards the park.

He clutched the crystal he was holding as he saw two familiar figures. They were obviously enjoying each other's company. He could only see the back of the blonde, while he saw his mirror image blushing.

Shuni blushed. "I want to give you that because.. I like you Yuki.' He stepped forward and embraced the taller man.

The hiding figure stiffened.

Yuki didn't move.

"I.. love you Yuki." Shuni tiptoed, closed his eyes and pressed his lips over the writer's.

Yuki's eyes show no emotion. He was just standing there letting Shuichi's twin kiss him.

Snow was still falling down.

Shuni pulled away and rested his head on Yuki's chest.

"Yuki.. I love you." He said.

CRASH!

DRIP!

A nice but strong smell filled the snow cold air. Blue liquid mixed freely with the snow on the ground as well as silver liquid coming from a singer's eyes.

Shuichi loosened his grip on the bottle and it slipped on his hand. It was what he bought for Yuki, an expensive, signature and rare perfume he chose. Now, the perfume was free as the crystal bottle crashed.. crashed with Shuichi's heart.

"Shu.. Shuichi?" Shuni whispered as he lifted his head to see what caused the smell and noise.

Yuki tensed up and turned around as he heard the singer's name.

They both saw Shuichi pale and staring at them, tears flowing nonstop. One of his hands was bandaged. His scar and bruise was clearly seen in the moonlight.

"Shuichi." Shuni suddenly felt guilt.

Yuki was dumbfounded when he saw Shuichi, and felt cold air rushing.

The snow piled so fast.

"Shuichi.. I –" Shuni began.

Although tears were rolling, Shuichi managed to put up a friendly smile. He didn't say anything else and turned his back at the two.

"Merry Christmas." Shuichi said clearly and ran again.

"Shu wait!" Shuni called out, but no matter how he wanted to follow his twin, he was glued at his position.

The smell of pefume was so strong that it followed Shuichi.

_Damn it, stay away from me you blasted scent!_

He ran until the scent was gone. That meant until he was very far away from his brother and Yuki.

He fell on the ground and cried silently, letting the snow cover his loneliness and pain. His heart was throbbing wildly again as he replayed in his mind the scene that he saw earlier. He breathed hard, but he was lacking air, he was like dying there on the spot because of suffocation.

_Help.. my chest.. it's gonna burst again, like before.. why won't the pain go away? Why does it have to be like this? I can't take it anymore. Yuki.. Shuni.. mom.._

He lifted his head as he heard loud footsteps approaching.He tried to focus his eyes on the approaching figure and blinked many times because the light was blinding him.

"D- dad.. is .. that you?" he looked at the figure in front of him, light was around the man.

"Dad.." he said before finally blacking out in the arms of a tall man with black hair and eyeglasses.

A/n: wait! Before you do anything harsh.. I'm not going to kill Shuichi.. but maybe a little torture will do? Ack! Review please! thanks to those who reviewed the previous chapters!


	9. Shuichi\'s letters

**a/n: sorry it took me a long time to update my piece. this one's a bit short.**

**kiichi and haruomi are not my characters. kiichi is the shindou family's doctor and haruomi is his boyfriend (',')**

**Summary: letters from Shuichi.**

**please also read and review my other fics: Tangled fate, Crap, Accept me, and Who is Eiri's star. please review no matter how late it is! I need them!**

Chapter 9: Shuichi's letters

"Hey, he's waking up."

"Good, let him sit up."

Shuichi heard familiar voices as he woke up. But he can't open his eyes. Maybe it was due to exhaustion, that he couldn't do even a simple muscle movement. He moaned to let the people around him know that he was awake.

"Shuichi, can you hear me?"

"Hai." The singer replied weakly.

"Can you sit? You have to eat."

He sat up with the help of a strong man. He could tell there were only two people inside the room.

"Here, sip this." The man who helped him said, inserting a spoon with soup in Shuichi's mouth.

"Kiichi.. how did you find me?" Shuichi asked, he was trying to open his eyes.

"Shuichi, your'e crying in the snow again. I was on my way back to the Aoe house when Haruomi and I saw you. You know your situation right? Why do you let yourself be hurt?" Kiichi the doctor said.

"Really? I was crying? I thought I saw dad earlier. Is he here?" Shuichi asked.

Kiichi sighed. "Poor kid, I think he's hallucinating."

"Kiichi, did you saw my dad? he's handsome right? I think he's fetching me." Shuichi said.

"No, he's not. He's just there to tell you to be strong.Don't come with him." Kiichi played along.

* * *

"Wow mom, that's a wonderful watch! Is it a present of one of your co workers?" Maiko asked her mom who was staring sadly at a wristwatch. It has a silver band, with diamonds at every number. "Hey mom, it's a nice watch, why are you sad?"

"It's.. it's from Shuichi." Their mom stuttered.

"Really! I got an expensive bracelet and a box of chocolate pockeys from him. He's really thoughtful." Maiko said.

"Where do you think he is?" their mom asked shyly.

"Oh, I honestly don't know mom. You know, he loves you very much, he tells me that whenever you scold him. That's why I know he was deeply hurt when you betrayed him." Maiko explained.

Their mom didn't say anything and stared at her watch. She placed it at the table to open her other presents when she noticed a pink paper lying beside the torn wrappers. She picked it up and read it after Maiko went to the kitchen.

_Hi mom. Merry Christmas. I hope you like my gift. Someone at the store said that whoever receives this gift from me is very special, and she's right. To me, you are very special,and I adore you very much. I'll try to be a better son so you'll appreciate and acknowledge me. Please take care of yourself always, thanks for everything and I love you very much. I'm sorry if I can't meet your expectations, but as I said, I'm trying my best. Merry Christmas, I love you mom._

_Love,_

_Shuichi_

Their mom folded the paper neatly and placed it inside the drawer. She examined the watch again, waving it in front of the window to see it's beauty in the moonlight.

"Shuichi.. I'm sorry." their mom said and cried.

* * *

Shuni arrived at their house around two am, he went straight to his room and slouched on his bed. His heart was beating wildly, as he recalled how he kissed Yuki. He noticed that Maiko placed his presents at his bed.

"9 presents, not bad." He counted. He opened first the big ones before the small ones. He got two new novels of Yuki Eiri by Maiko, a scanner by their mom, music magazines and two cds from Hiro, a mini replica of Kumagoro inside a crystal ball by Ryuichi, and other stuff from his friends. He opened the last and smallest of the gifts. It was a portable mp3 player, the size of a match box, the most expensive and newest release. Along with it is a silver bracelet and friendship ring, with his name engraved on it. He searched for the sender, and found out that it was his twin.

"Shuichi." Was all he said and read a small card that goes with the presents.

_Hey bro, Merry Christmas. It's sad that I'm not there this Christmas. I'm sorry if I cause you too much trouble, you shouldn't stress yourself. I hope you'll accept my gift for you. Don't be afraid to reach for your dreams, your'e halfway there because of your hardwork and skill. Take care of yourself, specially your heart. I'm sorry again for being such a burden. I love you very much Shuni, take care of your face also, I don't want an ugly twin for me. Hehe._

_Love,_

_Shuichi_

_p.s. don't be afraid to tell the ones that are special to you that you love them. As I've said before, be yourself and get the courage to confess so that person will know how you feel. That's Shuni, my twin._

He reread the letter many times, feeling sorry for his twin. Shuni can't forget what happened earlier at the park.

_Why was he crying? Was he affected? Did he cry because he was shocked that the one I love was a guy? That the one I love is Yuki?_

___Why do I have this feeling of guilt inside me? as if I don't know something so important._

He buried his face on the pillow and stared at the ring and bracelet.

_I'm such an idiot, I forgot to buy a present for him, and here I am, receiving the best gifts from him. Shuichi, where are you now?_

He closed his eyes and felt the moist of Yuki's lips still present on his.

_But something's wrong, I could sense it. It's like Yuki didn't feel anything, just like the first time I accidentaly kissed him. Argh.. geez, that person is hard to read._

Then Shuni straightened up and recalled Yuki's reaction.

_He.. he was surprised when he saw Shuichi.. like he was struck by lightning.. and when he saw Shuichi's tears, he looks like he's gonna cry too. He just left me on the park without saying anything..does that mean.. no.. I don't wanna think about such things.. but.. what if.._

"Yuki likes Shuichi?"

The bracelet and ring slipped on his hand and he crumpled the letter.

* * *

Yuki lay on his bed and stared at a pile of letters and presents at his table. On top of it was the pen and bracelet that Shuni gave him. He sighed and averted his gaze on the ceiling.

He got a piece of glass with scent from his pocket and played with it.

"Ouch. Baka." He cursed as the glass cut a tiny opening on his finger. It squirted a little blood and he placed his injured finger on his mouth to suck out the blood. He took again the irregular piece of glass and tossed it in the air.

"It smells good, Shuichi." he said and caught the falling glass and crushed it in his hand.

* * *

A month passed. Everyone was back to their own routine. Shuni was currently studying a short course for literature, Yuki was busy with his novels, but he submitts them late, due to a certain reason. Shuichi was back on the stage again after his suspension punishment from Tohma. Badluck's on high spirits again, selling like mad, and driving both male and female fans crazy.

Shuichi lives on his own at a small apartment. Only Hiro and Kiichi knows his location, as Shuichi asked them to keep it as a secret. He has been avoiding everyone, specially Yuki and Shuni, on Kiichi's advise, for the sake of his poor and weak heart. But still, his heart was still longing for love, a love he wanted, but couldn't get inspite of his fame.

"Shuichi, why won't you open the door? I'm gonna kick your ass when I enter." Hiro knocked on Shuichi's apartment. "Shuichi, you idiot! open up! don't you want some ramen?" Hiro pounded harder, but still, there's no response.

"Oh fuck Shuichi, I'm gonna enter wether you like it or not!" He kicked the door which caused some of the hinges to fall.

"Shuichi?" Hiro called as he stepped inside. There were crumpled sheets on the floor, cans of soda and boxes of pockey. Some of Shuichi's clothes were scattered, dirty or not.

"Shuichi?" He tried to call again. He heard nothing but something rushing on a cold floor. He paced towards the bathroom, and confirmed that the sound was coming from the inside.

"Oh my.. Shuichi!" Hiro ran to his bestfriend's side. As he opened the bathroom door, he saw Shuichi lying on the bathroom tiles with only a shorts on. The shower was open, water falling freely on Shuichi's thin body.

"Shuichi! hang on, I'm gonna call.. gonna call who?" Hiro panicked. He turned the shower off and wrapped a clean towel on Shuichi. he began scrolling through his phone book to determine the person he should call.

_No, not his mom, What.. no not Maiko, not Shuni, not K, Sakano, Fuji.. Yuki? No way.. damn that bastard.. oh.. yeah.. Kiichi.._

He dialed Kiichi's number and told him the situation.

"Oh? is that so? Don't worry, I'll go there immediately after I'm finished. yes.. yes.. don't shout Hiroshi. I know.. Be right there after thirty minutes.. I'll just finish checking up on the last patient for today. Hiro, don't panick.. he'll be ok.. right.. gotta hung up." Kiichi said coolly. he handed the phone to Haruomi and instructed him to prepare the car they'll be using.

"Ah, sorry about that, there was an emergency, and I have to deal with it." Kiichi said at the patient who was sitting in front of him.

"It's alright. What was that emergency all about?" the patient asked.

"Oh. a friend of mine has a very weak heart." Kiichi related while examing th patient. "it's the weakest heart I've handled in my life. I'm going to his place because, I think he fainted again."

"Ah.." was all the patient said.

"Poor little kid, he was treated badly since childhood, I heard he's heartbroken also, too much heart burden.. ah, there, finished. just come back tomorrow for health studies.I will give your medicine tomorrow."

"Arigato sensei."

"Your welcome, come back again tomorrow Uesugi san."

**a/n: yes, Kiichi's talking to Eiri. so now that Yuki knows Shuichi's sickness, what will be his plans? please review! thanks to those who reviewed!**

**please also read and review my other fics: Tangled fate, Crap, Accept me, and Who is Eiri's star. please review no matter how late it is! I need them!**


	10. Evil vs Weak

Chapter 10

Title: Evil vs. Weak

Erm, sorry for the late update, I'm very busy with school work, I hardly have enough time to sleep.. rather, I don't sleep. Ah thanks to those who reviewed! I really appreciated it, thank you very much specially to ayame san!

Thanks also to Kitsune Uesugi for emailing me! I really appreciated it.

geez, I honestly don't know what will happen next.

Disclaimer: don't own

"Hiro, he just fainted, but he has a fever. Give this new sets of medicine to him as soon as he wakes up. Let him drink soup, and advice him not to think of anything else."

"Kiichi, you think he'll be ok? I mean, he faints every now and then, I'm worried." The auburn haired guitarist asked.

"That's why I advice you to tell him to stop thinking, I'm also worried you know. His condition became worse, I'm afraid his heart will give up. But knowing Shuichi, I know he'll be able to handle it, he has his own ways." Kiichi said while peeking through his spectacles with a serious face.

"So, I'll go now, I have work to attend to, plus, Haruomi is outside waiting for me." Kiichi winked and waved.

"See you Kiichi, thanks for your help. I'll call again if problems occur." Hiro said.

* * *

"Yuki! Hey Yuki! Wait up!" Shuni run to catch up with Yuki. He saw the blonde earlier, inhaling his stick while walking around the park.

"What do you want brat? I'm in a hurry." Yuki said simply.

"Geez, I just want to talk to you." Shuni said while panting. He bent a little to relax himself.

"I don't have time for bootless things, you are disturbing me. I'll go now." Yuki said irritably. He didn't like it when somebody interrupts his deep thinking time while smoking. He glared at Shuichi's twin before walking away.

"Yuki." Shuni gripped Yuki's arm. "Are you avoiding me? Com'n, I just told you the truth. I really like you and –

"I don't care. Just leave me alone.. and yes.. I am avoiding you." Yuki said without glancing at Shuni.

The pink haired kid loosen his grip, before releasing Yuki's arm totally. He stared at the ground, teary eyed.

"Why Yuki, am I that annoying? Is that the reason? Tell me so I could understand!"

Yuki didn't utter a word and turned away from a crying Shuni. He threw his cigarette on the floor without turning off the remaining light.

(a/n: ok, so this chapter ends here.. yeah right just joking. I don't know what to type next)

A week passed. Bad luck's hit – Royal Sadness, was rocking off Japan for almost a month. The song was on top of the charts since Shuichi's comeback, and up til now, their album was selling like mad. Hiro was still concerned with Shuichi's situation.

Shuichi stared back at his reflection for hours. He was inside NG's comfort room for half a day, looking blankly at the image before him. He looked at his scar which was not visible anymore, thanks to K's medic service, his visible wound healed immediately. Now, the scar was only a trace of flesh, blending with his pale – rosy cheeks.

"Yo, what are you looking at? Are you boasting about your face huh, Shuichi?" a dark voice said.

Shuichi glanced with a horror stricken face. His blood was boiling from inside, and he could feel his body shake.

"W – what do you want? Stay away from me." Shuichi leaned back on one cubicle.

"Hey, your'e hurting my feelings, am I that scary? I just want a word with you."

"We don't have to talk. I kept my promise right?" Shuichi spat.

"Shuichi Shindou." The man moved closer, decreasing their gap to only an inch. Shuichi could feel Tachi's cold breath, as the other singer smirked.

He traced a finger on Shuichi's pale scar and laughed evily.

"Shuichi, your scar is fading, should I give you another one so you could remember our deal? Oh.. no offense or something, but I know your memory is short." He laughed again.

"I'll not forget our deal. I won't tell anyone what happened. Now, go!" Shuichi gripped the doorknob from behind.

Tachi leaned his face forward. "You know your'e funny. Ok, let's just say, I won't give you another scar. But I want you to do someting else." Tachi smiled and nibbled Shuichi's ear.

Shuichi trembled and felt cold water trickling down his back. He gulped and shut his eyes.

"Please Tachi. Don't." Shuichi whispered.

"What's that?" Tachi asked and proceeded to inserting his hand on Shuichi's pants. "I can't hear you."

"Don't Tachi. I'm begging you."

"Aw, your'e no fun." Tachi removed his hands on Shu's pants. "Well, if that's what you like, then fine. But you have to give someting in return."

Shuichi fell silent, thinking of other things Tachi will do to him.

_Shit, here he goes again.. what will he ask? I can't think straight, my heart is beating fast. Will he ask for money? Sex? Shit.. what will I –_

"I want you to quit Bad Luck."

_He's asking me to – _

"What?" Shuichi blinked many times before comprehending what Tachi said.

"It's that simple. I want you to quit your band, and stop your career."

"What? I can't do that. That's to –

"Fine then, I'll just have your pictures and video seen on television, while I ruin Yuki Eiri's writer life. What do you think? Or maybe I'll just have a little chat with Shuni Shindou, and do the same to him.. I mean.. what we did to you." Tachi prepared to walk out the door.

Shuichi's heart shook violently.

"That's.. too much Tachi. Why are you so evil?"

"That's because your'e too good.. and weak. I deserve to be on top of NG forever, and only you are my savior. If you quit your stupid band, then I'll be number 1."

He could feel the seriousness in Tachi's voice. He felt a lump on his throat, which gave him the difficulty to breathe. He was shaking again literally, which usually happens when his heart was about to break.

He heard Tachi turn the doorknob open as a warning.

"Do not touch Shuni.. or Yuki Eiri." Shuichi said as his body was slowly slipping against the wall.

"Then I'll be expecting your resignation by next week. Goodbye!" Tachi smiled and slammed the door.

* * *

"My goodness Shuichi, where have you been? I was looking for you all over the studio. Do you know what time it is? We're suppose to be practising." Fujisaki demanded.

"Shindou san! Why is your face all so pale!" Sakano panicked. "Waah! Did you not like the food in the cafeteria? Should I make you coffee? Tea? –

"He needs more sleep." Hiro covered for Shuichi. He knew in his heart that something was wrong again. "Right Shui –

Hiro felt warm and trembling arms wrap around his waist from behind.

"Shu?" Hiro said, or rather asked. The singer rested his head on the guitarist's back, while mumbling something.

"What's that Shuichi?" Hiro asked.

"Hiro, I'm so sorry. I really am." Shuichi tightened his hug before running away from the studio.

"Oi Shuichi! Come back here! Rehearsals doesn't end here!" Hiro heard K curse with a series of flying bullets, while he was following Shuichi.

_What now? _Hiro thought.

* * *

Shuni was lying on his bed, staring at the glow – in – the - dark stickers on his ceiling. He admired its effect, which was reflecting on his face.

A tear escaped on his eye, slowly flowing through his cheek. Everybody knew his heart is weak, and so, they were careful not to hurt his feelings – which is one reason nobody saw him cry. He hugged his pillow tight and cried himself to sleep, neither did he know that his twin was doing the same on his own small apartment.

Shuichi bear in mind Tachi's warnings, and didn't think twice on having any other options. He wanted to protect Yuki and Shuni. He wanted to protect those he love. But he was feeling guilty because of Hiro. Hiro was the only one who cared for him, and when he quits the band, it was like he was betraying and ruining his bestfriend's career.

He looked at the newly crashed mirror on the ground, he knocked it accidentaly earlier, leaving the fragments open for danger.

Danger..

_What would I do?_

The fragments shone beautifully under the moonlight.

_Glistening.._

Tears escaped his eyes.

_Will I survive?_

_Should I –_

_Should I die?_

Die.

He walked towards the glistening fragments and took a piece. He tried to bury it on his arm, causing red blots.

"Ouch. It really does hurt."

_What hurts?_

_My wound?_

_Or my heart's wound?_

He prepared to end his life by pressing the glass on his wrist. He choked back some tears while his breathing became uneasy.

"Any last words Shuichi?" He heard his innerself say. The inner weak self. Then he sighed.

"I .. am so tired."

He slowly drag the knife to his wrist, his previous wound and blood mixed with tears.

"Goodbye, world. Goodbye –

"SHUICHI!" the door slammed.

**Again, this is not a death fic.**

A/n: ok, so thischapter ends here. Gomen for updating late! See you next chap! And don't forget to leave a review!

Next chap: Shuichi's last concert, Yuki's concern, Shuni's realization.

thanks to those who reviewed! I'll reply next time!

**sorry this chap was crappy.. I'll update after a week.. promise..**


	11. Royal Sadness

ho! it's me again! please read and review! thanks to those who reviewed the earlier chapers! I really thank you. I'll try to reply next time.. because my head really aches now so I can't do it. fortunately, I'm here to update.

Chapter 11

Royal sadness

"That's a great start Shindou san! I can now see that the upcoming concert will be a success!" Sakano patted Shuichi on the back. They were rehearsing for Bad luck's concert to be held two days from now.

"Ok, let's try again Shindou san." Fujisaki suggested and started on playing the synth, followed by Hiro's strumming of guitar.

"Hai." Was all Shuichi's reply.

Hiro glanced at his bestfriend.

- Flashback -

"_SHUICHI!"_

"_H – Hiro? What are you doing here?" Shuichi stopped his agenda of cutting himself._

"_Baka! What are you doing to yourself!" Hiro ran to his bestfriend's side and took away the glass from him._

"_Hiro! Why are you here!" Shuichi cried._

"_Doesn't matter.. I'm your friend so I'm to rescue you from your heartaches. Baka.. why are you ending your life now that we are popular, you blockhead!"_

_Geez, I should've known, Hiro would be mad at me after I quit..I mean, who wouldn't be angry.. now that we are popular.. Shuichi thought._

_"Shuichi, I know something's wrong, you won't speak to anyone and you avoid eye contact.. that day, when we were finding you.. you just hugged me and said sorry.. sorry for what? What happened? Are you mad at me? Did we do something you don't like? Tell me!" Hiro said._

_"No. there's nothing wrong with you, the problem is with me. I'm sorry if –_

_"There's nothing to be sorry about Shu. Just share to me what's bothering you."_

_"You'll be mad at me when I tell you."_

_"I'll be madder if you don't."_

_"This has someting to do with the band."_

_"Go ahead, I'm listening." Hiro insisted._

_Shuichi breathed in and started his story._

_"On Christmas eve, I went to give Yuki his present.. but.. I accidentaly saw him at the park.. I hid behind the bushes to know who he's talking to.. then, I saw it. I saw him.. and Shuni.. they were kissing.." Shuichi curled up and rested his head on his knees._

_"So.. you got jealous? And let me guess.. you ran away didn't you?"Hiro finished for him._

_Shuichi nodded and continued. "I was really hurt.. I didn't know Shuni also liked Yuki.. after that.. I think I saw Dad fetching me.. then the next thing I knew, I was with Kiichi and Haruomi san."_

_"So, if this is about Shuni and that bastard, then why are you apologizing to me?" Hiro asked._

_Uh – oh.. I need to tell him.. no matter what.. even if he gets mad at me..I need to – in order to protect those I love. Shuichi thought nervously. He and Hiro never fought so he wouldn't know what to do when Hiro gets mad at him._

_"Remember what I said about my scar?"_

_"Why? Is he bothering you again?" Hiro asked again._

_"Well, I kinda bumped into him that day when you and Fujisaki was looking for me. Then, he threatened me that he will do the same to Shuni and ruin Yuki's life if.._

_There was complete silence._

_"If?" Hiro tensed up._

_"If.. I won't quit Bad luck. He told me to quit Bad luck, or else, he will ruin my whole life. I'm so sorry Hiro, I know this is just the beginning of our career, but because of me.. because of me you.._

_"You're worrying that I'll get mad at you if I know you'll quit?" Hiro stood up._

_"I know you will. I'm so sorry." Shuichi wiped his tears and prepared for Hiro's outburst, but instead, he received a cry from a Nakano Hiroshi._

_"Hi –_

_"Why do you worry very much about others Shuichi? You're the one who's hurt yet you think about others first? Why are you so kind?" Hiro bent down and pulled his friend close to his heart. "Don't worry about me Shuichi, I'll be fine. I won't force you to do anything you don't like."_

_"Hiro.. Arigato."_

And that night, they proved to themselves that indeed they were the best of friends.

"Hiro kun! What's wrong? You suddenly stopped the guitar!" Hiro heard Fujisaki's scolding.

"Eh? Gomen, I was lost in thoughts.. sorry, let's start again." Hiro said while giving Shuichi another glance.

_He's energetic now.. but his eyes betray him.. that's the eyes of someone who's deeply hurt. Tachi.. you'll really pay for this.. you'll see.._

Shuichi could feel Hiro's eyes on him, so he just continued his act of being genki and fine. He breathed in, and started to sing again as soon as Fujisaki started on the synth.

_Gomen Hiro.. I know it's just me and my selfish intentions.. but I'm doing this to protect those I love.. this maybe the start of your career, go and find another member..no matter how I love singing.. this is the end of my career.._

* * *

"Yo Maiko, is Shuni or mom inside?" Shuichi asked peeking through his sun glasses.

"Oh my – Shuichi! I've missed you! No, they're not here.. it's just me inside.. are you going to go back here again? If that's it.. then great..

"Maiko! Calm down!" Shuichi hushed his sister. " Sorry, but I'm not coming back. What's the use of returning here when nobody wants to accept me? I hope you understand Maiko. I'm just here to collect my other things."

"Shuichi! You blockhead! I want you here! And where are you going? Where are you staying? At Hiro's? Oh com'n! just tell me! I won't tell mom or Shuni. Please please –

"Maiko." Shuichi placed both hands on his sister's shoulder. "Thanks.. I know you are concerned.. but I've made a decision. I'm NEVER coming back here. Sorry."

"Shu – chan.." Maiko cried, and let Shuichi gather all his things.

Shuichi went straight to his room and packed all his clothes and gadgets, including all of his Grasper collectibles. He looked around at the now empty space floating in his eyes. He didn't know his room would be so dull without his things.. it used to be colorful and lively.. just like him.. the room and his heart are very much alike.. once you take away all those inside it, becomes empty and dull, cold and lonely.

All that was left behind inside was his bed, table and chair. He smiled and took one last look at his former room, before leaving something on top of the table. He locked the door and found Maiko waiting for him outside.

"Shuichi.. don't leave please." Maiko pleaded.

"Sorry sis.. I should do this." Shuichi said, placed a kiss on his sister's forehead, gathered his luggage and went out to hire a taxi.

"In this way, I won't be a bother to anyone." Shuichi whispered when he was inside the vehicle.

* * *

"Let me just finish this concert.. then you will not have a probem anymore."

"Hm, fine."

"I'll quit, but do your promise. Never touch my brother and Yuki Eiri, nor any other people that are close to me."

"Hai.. hai!" Tachi said impatiently with a careless wave of a hand. He and Shuichi went out to talk about their deal. Shuichi just wanted to finish his ' last' concert before quitting the bad.. before saying goodbye to anybody.

* * *

"Ready now Shuichi?" Hiro asked with a sad smile.

"Ready when you are." Shuichi smiled back.

"Ok guys, it's show time." Fujisaki said behind the curtains.

"I'll give my best." Shuichi said while patting Fujisaki's hair with a content look on his face.

"What's with hi –

Hiro patted Fujisaki's hair too. "Same here, brat."

"Hey! what's going on?" Fujisaki asked.

"Konnichiwa minna!" Shuichi shouted and he received the audience's glee. "Please enjoy Bad luck's concert!"

"We will!"

"Marry me Shindou san!"

"I want Nakano san!"

"Fujisaki kun you're so cute!"

"Thank you for supporting Bad luck! This concert is for all of you!" Shuichi waved, while men and women drool.

"Shindou san kawaii!"

"Aishiteru Shindou san!"

Hiro started on the guitar and Fujisaki followed. Shuichi tightened his grip on the mike and gave another seducing smile on the audience.

The concert started with the song Blind Game Again followed by Spicy marmalade. Shuichi asked Ryuichi's permission to sing two of Grasper's songs. On the concluding part of the concert, Shuichi began to tremble as he saw the image of Tachi smirking in the crowd. He glanced at Hiro to gain strength.

"Minna, I really thank you for supporting Bad luck. I will really miss all of you." Shuichi said with a sad smile. The audience didn't get exactly what that meant, they just continued on screaming Shuichi's name, telling him that he is loved by them.

"So for the last song.. here's Royal Sadness, my miracle piece. I wrote this for only half an hour, I didn't know how it happenned, I usually write lyrics for over a century until K san shoots me with his gun.. Oh, hi K san!" Shuichi waved at his manager who was pointing his magnum on him. The crowd laughed while Sakano fainted.

"I want to thank all of NG for giving me this opportunity to fulfill my dream. I'm really very happy. I would also like to thank those who continue to support me, and to those who have no trust in me. All I can say is that this is the real me." And with that, Shuichi started humming the intro for Royal Sadness.

I'm alone in this dark and cruel world

Thrown away like a dirty can

The gentle rain doesn't want to stop

Penetrating my soaking feeling

I knock on your window

I knock on your door

Even now, my feelings for you are in the sea of surging storms

Choked up with tears and crying

I bear it alone

I just want to be with your side

I want to become stronger

My heart tells otherwise

I'll pretend I'm not about to cry

I'll pretend that these tears are only rain

As I lie awake at night

I wish that this burning emptiness inside would heal.

As I close my eyes

All I see is your beautiful face

But the back of love has gone

As night skies arrive, the heartache begins

For in every dream the image of you lingers still

So I wake alone sleepless guided by the moon

With the dream that somewhere out there your love waits for me too.

And though I'm alone again, I shed not a tear.

Because to every life there's always an end

I close my eyes,

I turn around and go on my way

Both tears and sorrowful lies sleep in my heart

I wish I could call you mine

How beautiful is my lonliness, how great is my pain.

Although the fans heard this many times from the radio or television, it's as if Shuichi touched their hearts with this live performance. Even Fujisaki and Hiro stopped playing their musical instruments. Some were teary eyed, others were crying, some were fascinated, but in totallity, all of them were simply awed by the pink haired singer. Shuichi closed his eyes and placed his hand over his chest, murmured something before giving his goodbye flying kiss to the audience.

The crowd's roar could still be heard from the backstage, where the rest of the NG clan including Ryuichi were congratulating Shuichi on his good work.

Not far from them though, was a tall blonde wearing shades, hiding behind the walls.

**A/n:I got some of the lines from the english translation of my favorite anime songs.**

**Ah finally, another chapter done.. please review guys! Here's a pocky stick for everyone**

**Next chap: Shuichi quits, Yuki hears.. so what will he do?**

**Extra notes: please also read and review:**

**Tangled fate (oneshot)**

**Crap**

**Accept me**

**Golden Shuichi (oneshot)**

**The truth behind the dare (current)**


	12. The Awakening

Chapter 12

Wow.. sorry for the late update! Gomen gomen! I'm so.. very.. busy! Sorry sorry! anyway.. here's the continuation.. pls. Enjoy!

disclaimer: don't own

The Awakening

"Yuki! I'm so happy to see you! I love you!" Eiri saw a silhouette from afar, waving at him. He couldn't figure it out if it was Shuichi or Shuni, but in his heart, there was a voice telling him to come near that person. He stepped forward, and his feet were numb from the cold water where he was stepping.

"Yuki!" he heard the voice again, but this time, it was less than cheerful. It was like the person's heart was crying, and lonely, waiting for someone to hold him.

"Yuki! Come here and save me!" the figure was slowly fading, his arms outstretched, waiting for the writer.

"Hey, wait for me." Eiri said, but couldn't hear his own voice.

"Yuki! Yuki! It's so dark! I'm scared! Help me!" the voice was now quavering.

Yuki forced another step, but his feet were caught in ice. He tried to move farther, shaking his feet so he could escape the ice. But his enemy was just too strong and wouldn't let go of him. He could see the figure slowly beginning to have color.

"Yuki.." the voice said, tired. "Where are you?"

"Shuichi, hold on, just wait for me." Yuki said.

"Yuki, I can't breathe. Help..me.." Shuichi's figure was twisting in pain, waiting for Yuki. They were like miles apart, trying to see each other.

"Damn feet, move!" Yuki ordered himself, and slowly, the ice melted releasing him. He ran at Shuichi's direction as fast as he could. He could hear the singer's cries and heavy breathings getting closer.

"I'm almost there.." he said and continued to run. He saw Shuichi lying on a flood of spiky ice crystals and cold water, one arm raised for Yuki to hold.

"Yuki.. where were you? You're.. you're late. Too late." He stretched his arm more for Yuki to reach.

Yuki offered his hand to touch Shuichi. Their hands were just an inch apart but then..

"You're too late.. but I still love you, Yuki." Shuichi whispered, breathed hard, and his raised arm went down before Yuki could reach it.

Yuki watched as Shuichi's body began fading in his eyes like ash being blown in the wind. Shuichi's voice continued to echo in that dark and cold place, and all that was left was him and Shuichi's blood mixing with the water.

"I love you Yuki. I love you."

And the words were fading, replaced by an annoying and repeating noise.

"Nghrr.." Yuki muttered and turned off the alarm clock, but the gadget was still ringing repeatedly, telling him to wake up now. "What's with you – oh." He noticed that it wasn't his alarm clock he was pressing, but his computer's mouse. He fell asleep in front of his computer again.

He stiffled a yawn and turned off the real alarm clock this time.

"What was that dream all about?" he said in a concerned tone. He stood up and took a shower, drank coffee and beer, before leaving his apartment.

* * *

Yuki Eiri stopped in front of the NG building where he was greeted by some fans and workers. He have an appointment with Ng's president.. or he's so – called

brother – in – law.

"This way Mr. Yuki." A guard said, protecting Yuki on some rabid fan girls. They reached the very top of the building where Tohma's office is located.

"I'll leave you here sir." The guard said, then went back to the elevator.

The blonde sighed.

"I've always hated this place." He muttered.

* * *

"Could you please repeat that?" a loud voice said coldly.

"It's just exactly how you've heard it.. I'm sorry." another voice, this time a soft one replied.

"So you mean you're giving up? And to think about it, you're not that famous yet."

"I know, Seguchi san, but I really want to quit. I can't do it anymore."

"I have expected the wrong thing from you, Shindou," Tohma leaned his elbows on the table. "I'm very disappointed."

"Sorry."

"May I know the reason of your foolishness?" Tohma's voice was becoming nasty, that it was slowly frightening Shuichi.

"It's just that..

_No.. I can't tell him the real reason. If he knew that it was because of Aizawa, that lazy eye will submitt that stupid video on the press.. and Yuki and Shuni.. they will.._

"Shindou.. what's the reason? Don't let me lose my temper."

"It's just that.. I got tired of singing.. yeah.. that's right.. I don't want to sing anymore. Music is not my life." Shuichi lied, his voice becoming croaky. He breathed hard to prevent himself from crying.

"Music is not your life huh?" Tohma replied. "Then.. as of this time.. you should know.. that you're fired.. don't ever come back to this corporation, or this industry. Some filthy kid who just want to brag, does not belong to this field."

"I – I understand." Shuichi said, and turned around to leave. He twisted the doorknob to exit but was stopped by Tohma.

"And one more thing Shindou. Don't you ever come close to Eiri, or any other Uesugi."

_But why.._

_Why would I follow him. He has no right to force me to do things. No right to take away Yuki from me.._

_But if I stop seeing Yuki, it would also be good for him._

_In that way, no one would get hurt._

_After all, I'm just a nuisance, right?_

"Shindou, am I making myself clear?

"H – hai." Shuichi said weakly, and exited the president's office. He closed the door gently and slumped on the floor, crying his sorrow out silently. He hugged his knees and rested his head on them.

_The person I want to protect.. is the farthest person to me.. why is the world so unfair.. so cruel.._

He continued to cry there until his eyes were sore, and he had no energy to open them. Good thing no one was there the whole hour he was crying. Everybody at NG dreaded going near the president's office. He heard footsteps coming his way, and assumed it was Hiro, who wants to comfort him. The said person sat down beside Shuichi and hugged him close to his heart.

"Hi.. hiro.. I want to go home." Shuichi said, still not lifting his head from his position.

He felt strong limbs carry him like a baby. Somehow, he felt secure and comfort in those arms. Slowly, he was brought to a deep slumber.

- - - -

Shuichi awoke from the smell of coffee and smoke. He coughed a little and and focused his eyes on the ceiling.

_Smoke? Oh.. yeah.. I remember.. Hiro brought me home. He's really a friend.. ouch.. my eyes.. I can feel it swell a little... yeah.. it's alright.. the swelling will disappear later.. wait a minute.._

He stared carefully at the dark ceiling.

This is not my house.. my ceiling is white.. oh maybe I'm at Hiro's.. cough cough.. hey.. since when did Hiro learn how to smoke.. and.. oh shit..

He straightened up and tried to get up.

"This is not Hiro's house!" he blurted.

"Of course it isn't." for the second time of the day, Shuichi heard another cold voice.

"Y – Yuki?" Shuichi called out.

"And who else would it be, who were you expecting, Tatsuha?" Yuki grunted.

"Go – gomen.. Yuki.. W- why am I.. how did I..

Yuki sat beside Shuichi and sighed.

"Annoying brat, I saw you crying like shit in front of Tohma's office, and you were talking to Hiro, who wasn't there, and telling him to bring you home, so I did it myself, but I brought you here, because I don't know where you live, and this is the nearest place from NG."

_Wow.. is this really Yuki? Oh no.. wait.. Tohma said not to have connections to any Uesugi.. this is real crap._

"Uh.. I - .. um.. thanks.. sorry, for bothering you.. I have to go." He jumped out of the bed and tried to run, but he was grabbed back by Yuki.

He landed on the bed again, and in less than a second, Yuki was on top of him.

The blonde gave him a soft kiss on the lips, then proceeded to his neck.

"W – wait Yuki!" Shuichi squealed.

Yuki rested his forehead on Shuichi's, and inhaled the younger man's scent. Shuichi could smell the smoke from Yuki's clothes and breath.

"Why? Why were you crying?" Yuki whispered.

"I can't tell you.. it's personal.. and anyway, you'll know the reason soon enough."

"I want to know now." Yuki hissed, and pinned Shuichi's wrist above his head.

Shuichi yelped at Yuki's actions, as he remembered how Tachi raped him. Tears began rolling out of his eyes, as he shut his eyes.

Sensing that Shuichi's trembling,Yuki removed his hands on Shuichi's wrist and wiped his tears. He kissed Shuichi again hugged him.

"I heard it. I heard all of it." Yuki said, not lifting himself from his position.

"H – heard what Yuki?" Shuichi tried to calm down.

"Earlier. I heard it. What you said to Tohma. About quitting the band."

Shuichi's eyes widened with shock and began to tremble again. He thought of a quick excuse.

"Oh that, that was nothing. I really wanted to quit before, but it's only now that I have time to tell it to Tohma.. I mean Seguchi – san."

"Liar. Didn't you say before that music is your life? Why are you quitting now?"

"People change Yuki." He said quickly.

Yuki sat up. "You are the type who doesn't change."

"Who says?" Shuichi said. "If everbody can do it, why can't I?" he pointed out, trying to be cold with the writer.

"Because.. because.." Yuki, stuttered. For the first time in his life.

"See, you can't give me a reason. I can change if I want to." Shuichi glared, but deep inside, he was hurt. Hurt because he was hurting himself, hurting Yuki, and Yuki was somewhat insulting him.

"Because.. because.. I don't want you to change." Yuki finished.

"Uh.. wh-" Shuichi was caught off guard and couldn't speak.

_Is this really Yuki talking to me?_

"If you have a dream, you have to reach for it and don't let anybody steal it away from you." Yuki said, lighting a cigarette.

"Ho.. Is this really Yuki Eiri?" Shuichi said in his acted sarcastic voice. "Wouldn't it be better if I quit? You said my lyrics suck, and I have zero talent. You even hate my voice right? You hate it when I'm here, or when I talk to you. You hate it when I'm noisy, and you said I was always bothering you, and I'm annoying. You hate brats, and you said that I'm a brat. **You hate me**. So why are you acting like you're so concerned?"

-silence-

_Shit, did I just said that to Yuki? Maybe.. _

_It would be better this way._

_Not to be so close._

_But I will always belong to this person._

_Even if he hates me._

_Even if he doesn't love me._

_It's because I love him._

Shuichi breathed in to relax himself. He blinked a couple times, and felt his eyes still swelling a little. He stood up to leave a silenced Yuki, glanced one more time at the writer and left his apartment.

After exiting, he immediately ran to the busy streets to escape his wounded heart. He ran towards the crowded places, the mall, not caring if anyone would notice him. He needed a place where he was not alone, a place where he could breathe freely. There were red hearts everywhere, indicating that the valentine's season is just near. He stopped to catch his breathe. In a not so crowded place, he clutced his chest in pain, but his heart was somewhat relieved than before. The cars were zooming in every direction, their headlights blinding everybody. Shuichi winked to avoid the lights, and as he opened them again, he saw Yuki at the other street, looking at him. The cars stopped at the order of the red light. They stood still from where they are, just staring at each other with a look of shock and confusion in their faces.

"Just wait there. I want to talk to you." Yuki commanded and crossed the lane, but he didn't noticed that the red light was already green. He cursed and hoped that the noisy sounds of cars would disappear. The honks of cars became louder, as Eiri saw a very close and blinding light approaching him. It was too late to move. Is this the end? Will it just end like this?

The sound came closer to his ear, as he heard other ear – splitting voice from the crowd. Yuki felt a hard push and he fell on the ground and some blood splashed on his arm. But the wierd thing was, he wasn't hurt. He's just there, slumped on the ground, as the blinding lights and noisy sound disappeared, and what flashed afterwards was a weak and bloody figure. If he only knew that the replacement of those noise was his savior, he shouldn't have wished for the sounds to disappear.

"Shuichi.."

Shuichi opened his eyes, and the crimson color of blood greeted him, he opened his mouth to speak, and the taste of blood stayed in his tongue.

_I'm alone in this dark and cruel world_

_Thrown away like a dirty can_

_The gentle rain doesn't want to stop_

_Even now, my feelings for you are in the sea of surging storms_

_Choked up with tears and crying_

_I bear it alone _

_I just want to be with your side_

_I want to become stronger_

_My heart tells otherwise_

_I'll pretend I'm not about to cry_

_I'll pretend that these tears are only rain_

The lyrics of Royal Sadness were playing inside Shuichi's head, and that's how he feels today.

"Yuki.. I'm sorry."

"Shuichi.. hold on.. hold on.. don't die." Yuki was half wishing and half commanding Shuichi. He could feel himself tremble, he had a panick – stricken face at the sight of the pink haired kid he had learned to love slowly slipping away his life.

"Yhu..yuki.." Shuichi raised his arm to reach Yuki's face. "I love you.. so please don't hate me.." Shuichi said and in an instant, his eyes were shut and his arm dropped before he could reach Yuki's face.

**A/n: another crappy chaper finished.. Please review guys! I really need them!**

**thanks to those who reviewed! I'm sorry I can't list you all here.. I'm in a hurry! I'll really reply to you guys next time.. waah!**

**next chap: everybody realizes Shuichi's importance. will it be too late?**


	13. Shuichi's Importance

A/n: thanks to Kitsune Uesugi for giving me the idea of an accident.. –winks- poor Shuichi!

and no chibi.. i'm not mad at you. in fact, you made me inspired to write again! tnx!

Waah! And gomen to all my reviewers especially those who emailed me! I haven't posted this chap soon because I was swarming in the world of mental block! I'm really really sorry!

A/N: There is very poor chance of surviving when you got hit by a truck. What will happen to Shuichi?

Chapter 13: Shuichi's importance

"_I love you so please don't hate me."_

"_There's no way I could hate you, is there?" Yasaka said. "I never intended you to be hurt.._

Click click click click.

"_There's no way I could hate you is there?" Yasaka said, brushing Natsui's face with the back of his hand. "I didn't notice I was hurting you so much. Please don't leave me."_

"_I – I was always a bother to you, I was so slow in recognizing that I was a complete nuisance to you…._

The blonde author rested his back on the computer chair. He removed his glasses and rubbed his nose while sighing. He was supposed to submit the novel to Mizuki yesterday, but he wanted to have an extension.

"Writer's block? That's hard to cure." A teenage kid with pink hair said while placing a mug of coffee beside the blonde's computer.

"Shuni, it's - (Yuki glanced at his watch) – 9:30 in the evening, why don't you go home?"

"I don't have anything to do at home." Shuni said while pulling a monoblock and sitting on it. "Besides, it looks like you need some help." He smirked.

"I won't take any advice from you punk."

"Really?" Shuni beamed and read the opened document. "Hey, just now, Yasaka is confessing his feelings to Natsui right?"

"Dunno." Yuki said tiredly.

"Why not try making Yasaka a bit fluffier? I mean, he has to show a side of him that Natsui never seen from him before. Make him more loving, or caring."

"Geez, this is my story, don't ruin it. I won't accept suggestions from wannabees." Yuki commented and stretched.

"Bastard!" Shuni said in a Shuichi – ish way that made Yuki flinch. "I was just trying to help! Hmph! Fine. I'm going home." Shuni stuck out his tongue and grabbed his bag to leave the apartment.

The door closed and Yuki was once again left inside.

Alone.

And lonely.

"Show a side that was never been seen before huh?" Yuki lit his cigarette and sank lower on his chair.

"How will 'Yasaka' do that if 'Natsui' is gone?" he murmured to himself and dropped the cigarette on the floor.

He heard a couple of rings but he was too lazy to move. He waited for the answering machine to reveal who was calling.

Beep….

"Eiri san? Were you sleeping?" Yuki heard a feminine voice owned by a male. Then there was a second beep.

"What do you want Tohma?" Yuki said sarcastically, picking up the phone.

"Gomen, I thought you were sleeping." The smaller blonde said scratching his head.

"Any news?" Yuki asked while sitting on the couch.

"Not really. I still haven't found him, but Nakano received a phone call from him earlier."

Tohma paused waiting for Yuki to reply, but the taller blonde was not making any reaction so he continued.

"Hiro said that Shuichi called to tell him that he was fine, and not to worry about him. He's in a safe place gaining back his strength in America."

"Is that all?" Yuki asked sipping his beer.

"I'm afraid that's all." Tohma said. "At least now you know he isn't dead."

"Yeah." Was all that Yuki said.

"Well, I need to hang up now. See you around." Tohma said.

"Hmmmm." Yuki replied and placed the receiver back. But just a few seconds after, the phone rang again.

"What is it? Did you forget to tell something?" Yuki greeted glumly.

There was no answer on the other line. Complete silence could be heard except for a few breathings.

"Hello, who is this? It's 11pm shit head, calling in the middle of the night and not answering is –

He stopped dead on his words. There was a familiar incident like this before.

"Hello." He tried to make himself sound calmer. "Hello." He said again then closed his eyes.

"Shuichi." He said, and immediately, the line cut off.

Flashback

In a flash, the hospital was filled with people, including the media men, and fans. They wanted to see their beloved Shuichi, who was now fighting for his life. It took minutes before the news got on TV, and minutes before Shuichi's family arrived. Yuki was looking through the glass doors, expressionless, hoping that his savior was safe.

"Damn these people take them out of the hospital!" Hiro shouted, losing his temper.

"It's ok now, I contacted my colleagues." K said in his cool tone, and raised his caliber. "Eiri san, are you alright? You should take a rest, I believe." The oh – so Eiri concerned Tohma said, attempting to place his hand on Yuki's shoulder.

"Don't touch me Tohma." Eiri replied coldly, not averting his gaze at the singer. The doctors who were attending to Shuichi were now cleaning his wounds. Yuki could see it clearly – Shuichi's beautiful face half drenched with blood and wounds, his arms and legs being bandaged by nurses, his head receiving stitches.. he couldn't take it anymore.

The next minute, the curtains blocked his sight.

"Shu chan! Where's Shu chan!" Maiko came rushing with his mother and Shuni. "Tell me Hiro, how is he?"

"Maiko.." Hiro could only tremble, he was afraid of the fact that Shuichi's chance of living was slim.

Maiko cried on Shuni's shoulder, as his brother embraced him.

"Shuichi.. what happened?" Shuni whispered and noticed Eiri.

Their mom was silent, but fright was visible in her face. She couldn't afford to lose another loved one, especially Shuichi, who lacks her love and care.

The doctor went out. Everyone gathered around him, wanting to know Shu's condition.

"He'll be safe right?" Hiro said.

The doctor bowed his head in lack of words. He too, wasn't sure if the singer will survive.

"Save him doctor, he shouldn't die! He still wants others to listen to his songs! Get it! Save him! Do all you can, we'll pay any amount!" Maiko was hysterically crying. He loves his brother so much.

"Maiko, you have to be strong. We have to trust Shuichi. You should know that he won't give up easily." Hiro comforted.

Shuni covered his eyes with his hand to hide his tears. Hiro was right. They all should know that Shuichi wouldn't give up easily. It's a shame not to know that, especially if you're his twin.

Shuichi. Hold on. Your fans are outside praying for your recovery. You have to be strong for them. They still want to hear you sing. They still want to see you perform. Even if you quit the band, you'll always be in their hearts. Shuichi. Why won't you wake up? Hiro thought. There he was telling others to trust Shuichi, but inside, he's just like them, a helpless human, trembling in fear.

"Eiri, the police wants to have a word with you. They said you were somewhat involved in the accident." Tohma said, breaking the tension.

Everybody looked at the writer. They haven't noticed him there; they were all busy thinking about Shuichi.

"Tell them to shut up. They won't hear a word from me." Yuki said, and rested his forehead on the glass doors.

"Eiri, please coope –

"I told you to freaking shut up." Eiri said expressionless.

"Eiri I was just –

Yuki glared at Tohma and to everybody else. His golden eyes were burning with rage; his heart was contracting with hurt.

"Don't follow me." Eiri said and turned away, as everybody's gaze followed him.

"What's with him?" Hiro whispered.

Shuni knitted his eyebrows in confusion. He patted his sister for comfort and volunteered to buy drinks for everyone.

"I'll just go and buy drinks Maiko, you stay here with mom."

"Uhm.. hai." Maiko agreed and sat beside their mother.

"He'll be alright mom." Maiko assured.

Shuni ran towards the vending machine and inserted coins to purchase two cups of coffee. He wandered his eyes hoping for signs of the blonde writer, but all he could see are other patients and nurses, chatting about the accident of the famous singer.

_Flashback during a flashback_

_"Yuki! Look! What else would I add to this dialogue? My teacher in America said I should make it meaningful so as to please my readers. You're a writer so I'm asking for your advice." Shuni Shindou said as he keeps on tapping Yuki's back. They were inside the blonde's apartment, where Shuni spends most of his time._

_"I don't know, figure it out for yourself" Yuki said sarcastically and exhaled his smoke._

_"What a helpless prick! I was asking for your help dammit." Shuni stuck out his tongue at Yuki._

_"You don't have to write long dialogues Shuichi. It will bore the readers." Yuki said and handed back the manuscript to Shuni._

_"I'm Shuni, not Shuichi! Honestly, why do you always mention his name when we're together? There's a hair difference you know! Can't you tell us apart?" Shuni pouted like Shuichi and threw tantrums on the floor._

_"It's normal for me to be confused. You're very much alike..(Shuni banged his head on the floor) well yeah, except for the hair ok! Both of you are noisy, both of you disturb me during the most important times, both of you scare me to death with that shocking pink color hair of yours.."_

_"It's not shocking pink! It's strawberry pink!" Shuni wailed._

_"It is shocking! Your hair betrays what you say! Look! It is spiky all over. Don't you agree you were shocked?"_

_"What in the –_

_"YUKI!" a pink laser bulleted it's way to where Shuni and Yuki were arguing. "YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI YUKI!"_

_"I CAN HEAR YOU WELL DAMN BRAT! Yuki shouted. "You made a new hole on my wall!"_

_"Oh hi Shuni! I didn't know you were here!" Shuichi said, ignoring Yuki._

_"You brat! Are you listening! Take your brother away from here or I'll tie you together!" Yuki raged._

_"Shuichi! What time is it? You were supposed to be finished at 8pm right?" Shuni greeted._

_"It's 8:30 Shuni."Shuichi said._

_"What! You're ignoring me!" Yuki said on the background as he was watching two fur balls of pink blabbing._

_"8:30! It's 8:30! Time's really fast when you're having fun! I was hanging out with Yuki since 9am!"_

_"Yeah, since 9 am! Can you hear yourself Shuni! You've been bothering me since 9 am! I should've slept or finished my novel or –_

_"Shuichi! Com'n we must go home, maybe mom's worried now!" Shuni stood up cutting the writer off his words._

_"Hai, you go home first, I still have to talk to someone." Shuichi said and waved good bye._

_"Alright then." Shuni waved and rode his bicycle._

_"And you? Why are you still here?" Yuki asked._

_"Uh, gomen, I know Shuni bothered you this day, but please bear with him. He's a big fan of yours, and is willing to learn more from you." Shuichi bowed his head low._

_"Ah I see, you apologize for your brother. What if I tell you that I don't like him going here.. like he's an eyesore than you are." Yuki rubbed his temple._

_Shuichi winced, but non the less, he ignored Yuki's usual comments. "I'm so sorry. But please be good to him. I know he's noisy sometimes but please let him be that way. He has a weak heart which we are taking care because we don't want him to be sent to the hospital." He bowed lower. "Please. Yuki – san." His voice was quivering._

_Yuki arched an eyebrow. Since when did Shuichi call him the honorific 'san'?_

_Yuki give him an 'hmph' and turned away._

_"Wait Yuki!" Shuichi called. "Yuki! Here," he handed a box of chocolate cake. "I know you haven't eaten dinner yet. I bought this on the way. And here, chicken ramen, and beer and drink this tea – it's good for your health! Wait, there's still – ah! I bought you pocky!" Shuichi said randomly._

_"Hmph." Yuki said again and accepted the box of cake and the bag of groceries._

_"Yuki!" Shuichi jumped at the blonde and bit his ear. "I miss you!" he kissed Yuki on the cheek._

_"Get off me!" Yuki said, but Shuichi was hanging tightly on him._

_"Baka, what do you want?" Yuki walked with Shuichi on his back.  
"I just want to hug you and be with you!" Shuichi pouted and walked on his own._

_Yuki sighed and got a beer from the bag of groceries which Shuichi gave him. He examined the box of pocky and threw it at Shuichi._

_"Here, I think, you're the one who needs this. He said upon calming down. Shuichi got it and began to open it._

_"Yuki, how was you're day?" he hummed._

_End of flashback within a flashback_

"Oh my, what disgust.." Shuni heard a nurse comment. "Who in the world will leave a cigarette butt on the hospital floor?" the nurse shook her head and threw the trash away.

"Yuki." Shuni whispered and had a hint of where Eiri might have gone. His first guess was on the hospital rooftop, and indeed, Yuki was there, smoking his way to calmness.

He tried to walk as silently as he could, but he accidentally tripped on an empty can of soda.

"I remember clearly that I said I don't want to be followed." Yuki exhaled his smoke and looked at Shuni.

"Um, coffee?" Shuni blushed and handed the cup to Yuki.

Hiro excused himself from the others and made a phone call. He went outside the hospital, but to his dismay, his fans and the media men saw him.

"Oh shit." He muttered and ended the call abruptly.

"Hiro kun! Is it true? Shu chan is in a dangerous situation?" the fan girls cried.

"Well, ummmm.."

"Nakano san, what did the doctors say?"

"A – ah."

"Nakano kun, is the famous novelist, Yuki Eiri involved in the accident?"

Hiro's face turned serious. "I don't know if that damn novelist is involved. He refuses to say a thing even to President Tohma Seguchi."

There were murmurs everywhere and cameras flashing.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, I still need to do something for Shuichi. Please pray for his fast recovery. He needs it very much." With that, he ran away to the comfort room to continue his call.

* * *

Yuki accepted the coffee without saying thanks and returned his eyes on the scene before him. From the rooftop, the city looks wide with lighted buildings and busy streets.

"Yuki.." Shuni attempted to talk. He shuffled his feet and focused his eyes on the ground.

-silence-

"You wanted to know why I'm here." Yuki began, as if knowing what Shuni was to ask him.

"Huh? O - oh.. no.. I mean.. yes, I want to know." Shuni blushed deeply this time, admiring Yuki's sharp senses. "Is it true? What Seguchi - san said earlier? About Shuichi's accident. Were you really involved?"

"So what if I am?" Yuki sipped his coffee. "What will you do?"

"At least I have the right to know." Shuni said. "Tell me what happened Yuki."

Yuki exhaled his smoke on Shuni's face and the latter coughed.

"The idiot ran and pushed me on the other side of the street to save me from a truck. That's all."

Shuichi saved him? He risked his life to save Yuki?

Shuni bit his lip. He suspects that Shuichi liked Yuki to some extent, and it seems clearer now. Who would sacrifice his life for a heartless bastard? What kind of idiot will give up his life just to protect one Yuki Eiri.

"So stupid." Shuni muttered.

"Stupid, right? That's your brother since the beginning." Yuki said and inhaled his smoke.

"He may be stupid, but he still has a heart. A loving heart. You should be at least thankful, if not for him, you are just a corpse blending with dust being kicked and swept by people." Shuni glared. He didn't like it when others insult Shuichi, but he can't help but agree with Yuki. Shuichi was being stupid all his life, letting others humiliate him, taking all the blame.

"Yeah, I'll thank him, if ever he wakes up." Yuki said dryly, as if challenging Shuni to debate with him. But the later didn't bulge. Shuni just stood here as if something important hit him, then tears went down his eyes.

Yuki's eyes widened. For the second time that day, he felt guilty of doing something.

"Alright, I get it. Stop crying brat. I won't say anything about Shuichi again." Yuki exhaled his smoke on Shuni's face. "Just stay away from me. I don't feel like talking to anybody."

"Yuki." Shuni sniffed. "Do you think I'm wiser than Shuichi? Am I better than him?" Shuni suddenly asked. He stood beside Yuki and held tightly on the rails.

"Why did you –

"Just answer it." Shuni demanded.

"Yes, you're wiser, and less dumb than him. But a twin is a twin. You're both annoying and filthy brats for me." Yuki implied.

"Then what should I do so you'll appreciate all of me?" Shuni asked.

"You don't have to impress everybody. You shouldn't base your attitude on my opinion. Do what you think is right. Do whatever you want and don't rely on others." He threw the cigarette on the floor without stepping on it.

"But your opinion is the most important to me Yuki. What should I do to impress you? Why is it that every time we talk about Shuichi, there's always a spark in your world. I thought I was better than him? I can do almost everything he can do."

"What are you talking about? That guy annoys me the most. He ruined my life ever since he came." Yuki gritted his teeth.

"If he's annoying then why did you even bother to bring him to the hospital? You should just left him on the street and –

"It was because of responsibility ok? I couldn't just leave him there like you want!"

Shuni kept quiet for a while and Yuki calmed himself.

A cold wind brushed through them.

"I told you just go away." Yuki said, breaking the silence.

Shuni breathed, wiped a tear that shamelessly fell down and ran away.

End of flashback

* * *

Present

"Yuki san, this novel is great like the others, but it's the most depressing one that I've read." Mizuki commented.

"It's only you." Yuki said breathing out smoke.

"No, really, the way characters are portrayed…." Mizuki began.

"Don't tell the ending yet to everyone. After all, that's to be published next month right? I might still make some changes."

"H – Hai. So, I'll see you around. I still need to read this. Ja!" Mizuki waved, took a last sip on her coffee and walked away.

Yuki stood up and sighed. He let his feet bring him wherever it'll go. He passed by a grocery, which weirdly reminded him of pocky. Next he went inside the mall and stopped in front of a gaming shop. He shrugged and went inside a music corner. There in front is a life size poster of Bad Luck. Shuichi was smiling wildly at everyone flashing his usual V – sign while raising his mike. The singer looked so lively. Who knows he will be as weak as a crumpled paper?

And speaking of paper….

He glanced at the stand of newspapers. One section had the headline:

_Shuichi Shindou. Where have you gone?_

Beside the large poster is a stand full of Bad Luck cds. He stared at it for a long time, without realizing that his finger was slowly tracing the front cover which was Shuichi.

"Where are you?" he said to himself and decided to go home.

He called Tohma at once and told him that Shuichi called him last night.

"Are you really sure it was him? I mean, it maybe a prank call. With all your fans who want your num –

"I know it's him. Can you track down where the call came from?"

"Of course, of course." Tohma said carelessly resting his legs on the table while Sakano came knocking on his door. "Well, I still need to talk to someone. Bye." He heard Yuki hung up and put down the phone

* * *

"Shuichi, are you sure about this? You still won't come back?"

"I've decided Kiichi. I won't b coming back…. Well, maybe I'll do some appearances." Shuichi laughed, but the doctor sighed.

"Shuichi." Kiichi bent down and hugged the singer. "Just always remember that I and Haruomi are here to help."

Shuichi couldn't take it anymore and cried, hugging Kiichi tightly, like a child afraid to be lost. About six months ago, he woke up in the hospital while Hiro was looking after him.

"_Shu – Shuichi! Y – You're awake.. hold on, I'll call the doct – _

"_No. Hiro. Don't call him. Where exactly am I?" he asked weakly, his injuries still painful but bearable._

"_Hospital in Tokyo. You were sleeping like forever! Everybody prayed for your recovery! You made us worry you brat!" Hiro was excited seeing his best friend regaining life. _

"_Brat?" Shuichi repeated. "How is Yuki?" _

"_Yuki? I don't know with that guy. Honestly, why are you thinking of him?"_

"_Hiro. I have a favor to ask."_

"_Sure, anything buddy, do you like water?" Hiro suggested._

"_No. it's not like that."_

"_Then what is it?" Hiro combed Shuichi's hair with his fingers._

"_Please c- call Kiichi san."_

"_Why would I do that? Is your heart aching?"_

"_No, I need to get out of this place." Shuichi said softly._

"_SERIOUSLY YOU – _

_Shuichi ignored his best friend and continued._

"_Don't shout Hiro. I want to stay away from others from now on."_

_Hiro closed his mouth opened it about to say something but it was left hanging for a long time. He exactly didn't know what was going on at Shuichi's mind, but he decided that he would give Shuichi what he wants._

"_Alright. I'll call him right now if that's what you want."_

"_Tell him. Tell him I want to disappear from this hospital, and I want to recover in his place."_

"_Shuichi. You're asking for too much." Hiro said._

"_I don't want to be a burden to mom and to Yuki anymore. From now on, I'll just wait for my injuries to heal, and then I'll live on my own." Shuichi said confidently._

"I'm also here to help." Hiro said while sliding the door open. They were at the Aoe residence, (Kiichi's family house) far away from Tokyo. Shuichi could now walk with the help of clutches, the scar Taki gave him has now completely healed, and meanwhile, his other injuries caused by the accident were a little near to healing.

And the scars of his heart will never be healed.

"How is everybody?" Shuichi said.

"Oh, their fine. I made them believe that you gave me a call. Fujisaki was – well, panicking like Sakano right now." Hiro grinned, tossing a can of cold coffee to Shuichi.

"Where's mine!" Shuichi wailed.

"No cold coffee for you Shuichi! You can't sleep well during night!" Hiro said.

"Oh really?" Shuichi said wryly. "I bet you can't sleep at night either because your beloved Fujisaki is worried sick over me." Shuichi grinned.

"What are you talking about? I'm with Ayaka you know!" Hiro glared then passed a can to Shuichi.

"Victory!" Shuichi said.

"Anyway Shuichi. How long are you gonna hide?" Hiro asked, and Shuichi smiled.

"Kiichi said I'm going to heal after a month. I think, I'll make that excuse a real thing."

"What excuse?" Kiichi asked.

"The one Hiro said to the others. About me – going to America." Shuichi smiled contently.

"Shuichi! You can't do that! How about your family?" Hiro shook his best friend.

"Shuni and Maiko can take care of mom. And mom, well, she must be happy that I'm not bothering his beloved Shuni now. I'll miss them all though.

"What about Bad luck." Kiichi asked.

"I'm – I'm sorry Hiro. We're only starting but –

"You'll quit?" Hiro finished.

"I'm so –

"Sorry's not enough Shuichi." Hiro said coldly.

Shuichi felt ashamed of himself. Hiro was always helping him, and there he was again, talking about quitting.

"As a punishment." Hiro began and Shuichi looked up. "I'll be going with you."

"H – How about Fujisaki?" Shuichi asked.

"Oh, sorry, I forgot to tell you. He was being asked by Zen' in – you know, that new band – to be their guitarist."

"Guitarist? Does he have talent or that?" Shuichi shouted.

"Believe me, he has. I think he's gonna accept it if you don't show up within the next few days."

"Oh alright. That's fine with me. How about K and Sakano?"

"Don't worry about them; they have a lot of work to do in NG." Hiro grinned.

"Then, I guess, it's really goodbye for me." Shuichi sighed and closed his eyes with a content look on his face.

A/N: I'm really sorry for the late update – really I am. Like you readers, I was also waiting for my next update… because I still don't know what to write next… but I have the ending to this story…. I'm really stupid. suggestions and comments?

I love Shuichi, so I think I'll give him a happy ending.

I think.


	14. Valentine Visits

Disclaimer: I wish I own gravitation 1 and 2. But I don't!

a/n: I know this is a bit too early for valentines…. I mean very late, but…. what can I do? I'm stuck between mental block and school work. Sorry for the super late update!

**warning: this chapter contains slight lemon**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Valentine Visits**

"Shu, wake up. Hiro kun's here." Kiichi woke Shuichi up. It was the second week of February and Shuichi's injuries were almost healed. He could walk by his own now, the only thing that bothers him was his back and knee injury.

"Hey Shu, I have some news for you." Hiro said as he jumped on Shuichi's bed. "It's about Fujisaki."

"What about him?" Shu asked between rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Has he grown an inch?"

"It's about Zen' in's offer. He legally accepted it yesterday afternoon."

"Well, as I've said, good luck on his career and it's really good bye for me."

"When are you planning to leave?" Hiro asked.

"February 15th. Are you sure you want to go?" Shuichi asked Hiro for confirmation. "What about Ayaka san?"

"Oh, I know she'll wait. Don't worry about her, I'm more worried about you. Are you sure you want to leave everything behind?"

"Yeah. It's final. By the way, if you'll go with me, what will you say to everybody? Wouldn't they suspect?"

"It's all settled. I'll tell them I'll quit the band and I'll finish studying medicine in America – which I'm really planning to do."

Shuichi grinned. "I can't imagine a rock guitarist dealing with blood. How's my family?"

"They're fine, your mom's a little pale, but above that, I think she's ok. Maiko's doing well in her class and Shuni, he's in top shape, and he calls me every time to ask if you've called me. Hmmmm, he mentioned that he'll spend this week in Australia because his teacher called him for a contest. He'll be back after Valentine's.

"Yeah, by the way, what day is it today?" Shuichi asked.

"12th of February. I won't be here next next day – you know…. I'll be treating Ayaka."

Shuichi blushed but no one noticed. Then he fell silent for a long time like he was thinking of something.

"Hey! Shu! I'm talking to you! What are you planning to do?" Hiro asked.

Shuichi snapped back from his thoughts and smirked. "Kiichi san, can I go somewhere on the 14th? I want to stretch my legs for some time." Shuichi begged.

"Who am I to reject you? Of course, you can walk now right? But you're a Cinderella and should be back here at 10:00pm."

"Awwww, but Cinderella was given freedom until 12!" Hiro rolled in laughter. "Oh shut up Hiro!"

"No, I mean it! You should go home by 10 or else I'll turn you into a pumpkin head."

"Geez, alright. What else can I do? The fairy god mother is so strict and scary and sadistic and sex-

"Shuichi!" Kiichi warned dangerously, but smiled.

"Hehe, just joking Kiichi, you know we love you." Shuichi said and fell silent again.

* * *

**February 14th**

_A happy valentine's day to you too Seguchi san, and that was the president of NG, giving us the details of the much awaited Valentine concert! Now for sports news – _

Shuichi hummed happily on the streets as he passed by an electronics company where a TV display was showing the current news.

Nobody would suspect that he was the famous Shindou, who for the past few months had a serious accident. He glanced at the TV screen and grinned. "Tohma still haven't changed his fashion style. He's still wearing that bowler hat."

He skipped at the sidewalk like an excited child.

"Wow! It's been a long time since I went here!" he pressed his face on the glass walls of an extravagant coffee shop and looked at their menu for the day. "Kyaa! They have Strawberry chocolate crisp cake today! I'll buy! I'll buy!" he went inside and pointed the cake of his choice.

"Would that be all sir? Would you like to add drinks, vanilla cream frappuccino perhaps?" the saleslady offered.

Shuichi seemed tempted but he shook his said when another tempting cake caught his eye. A strawberry shortcake sat on the display of sweets, waiting to be bought by Shuichi. But the strawberry shortcake's long wait is over.

"I – I'll just buy that strawberry shortcake over there." He pointed. "That's all." He said before he changed his mind.

He went outside the coffee shop sniffing his purchased goods and grinned like a maniac. Nobody noticed that he was Shuichi Shindou of Bad Luck. He wore a great disguise – he covered his hair with a red bandana, he wore fashion glasses. He had a white trench coat on, which go along with his khaki pants and black shirt – something that Shuni would wear. He looked and admired himself on the mirror.

"Look at yourself Shuichi, you've become a little taller!" he greeted himself and walked towards the mall. "What should be your valentine's gift my dear sister?" he examined the line of new earrings which gleamed before his eyes.

"How may I help you sir?" a saleslady entertained and examined him.

"Ah, um, I – I want the newest earrings for my – my girlfriend. Can I find it here?"

"But of course sir! The finest diamonds, shining ruby, golden piercing….

_Golden piercing? _Shuichi thought and for awhile he was lost in thoughts.

"Sir? Sir?" the woman waved. "How about trying the newest silver from ameri –

"Yes, I'll take that. Thanks." Shuichi said immediately before the woman could offer anything else. _Ah, saleswoman nowadays, they're becoming demanding!_

After he bought his present for Maiko, he decided to jog to test his legs and he was led to the park.

He stretched and breathed the air. Strange, there was no one on the park that afternoon.

"I'm bored." He said and sat on the bench and opened his box of cake. He tasted the icing with the tip of his finger and ate one strawberry. "Yum!" he squealed, but before he couldn't control himself, he decided to close the box and go to his next stop…..

His mom's house.

He skipped nervously on their path walk and looked for any sign of living things. When he was sure there was no one around, he tiptoed on the mailbox and dropped his gift for his mother and Maiko. He felt something brush on his legs and almost jumped in shock.

"What the – you surprised me!" Shuichi whispered and bent down to tickle his friend.

"How are you Lieutenant Clippit? Still clipping on Maiko's laundry?" he greeted their cat who almost looked like him and Shuni. They decided to take home Lieutenant Clippit after their walk on the park when they were four. Their dad won't allow them, but after Shuichi's constant pouting and pleading, he finally gave in.

"Missed me?" Shuichi asked as the cat purred on his lap and played with his shirt.

"Clippit! It's time for your lunch!" he heard his mom scream. "You neko! Where are you?"

"Mom!" Shuichi panicked and threw the cat on the grass while he hid behind the walls.

"There you are." His mom said and picked the cat up. "Don't let Professor Kimmy find you." She went to the kitchen and fed the cat.

"Whew, that was close." Shuichi wiped his sweat when another furry animal tickled his leg.

"Kimmy! What are you doing here? I – I mean, go home, you're not suppose to see me." Shuichi tried to kick the dog but it was biting his pants furiously. The dog forced him or rather led him to their house but Shuichi was resisting.

"No! You stupid inu! Go home! I don't want them to see me!" Shuichi was almost crying. A few years ago after they took Lieutenant Clippit home, Maiko was always complaining that the cat was ruining her clothes, so she asked their mom to buy a dog. And so a dog by the name of Professor Kimmy became part of their family.

"Listen Kimmy, - uh, here," he threw a pocky stick. "Go fetch!" he shouted then covered his mouth. The dog obeyed, but before he fetched the pocky stick, he ripped a little part of Shuichi's pants.

_Alright, run run run run! _Shuichi ran before his mom could see him. When he was on a safe spot, he breathed for a while and sat on the ground. He looked at his watch. It read: 5:30pm. _Good I still have time._ He stood up and walked towards his **real** destination.

Yuki's house.

He peeked at the gloomy exterior of Yuki's apartment and breathed hard. He walked bravely and held the box of sweets tightly.

_I can do this. Good luck Shuichi. _He told himself and opened the main door of the blonde's house. He wandered his eyes first, expecting signs of Yuki. _His apartment still looks the same. Hey, isn't that –_

He stared at the awfully familiar mug on the center table. He focused his eyes on it. No doubt, it was something that belonged to a Shindou. They had it as a present when they were in elementary. A blue mug for Shuichi, a pink mug for Maiko and a peach mug for Shuni. The peach one was sitting silently on the table together with random fiction and love novels.

"Who's there?" a voice said that made Shuichi snap back to his thoughts. He looked at the man who appeared from the hallway, he had no shirt on, and his pants were crumpled, while his hair was messy hanging on his confused face. Shuichi just stood there speechless, suddenly not knowing what to say.

"Ah, it's you. I thought you'll be going to **America** for the whole week?" Yuki puffed out his smoke and got a can of beer from the fridge.

Shuichi's heart was beating wildly that he wanted to hammer it just to keep it silent. Just hearing this man's voice made him feel that his months of suffering were wiped in an instant.

"Baka! Can you hear me? Are you just going to stand there and grow roots? Just tell me so I'll just have to cut you off." Yuki said coldly and sat on his couch.

"Ah – s – sorry. I was just –

_Wait, if he knew that Shuni went to Australia, then it means, they're already close? Are they on a relationship now?_

"You just what?" Eiri gulped his beer.

"I just missed you!" Shuichi squealed with a perfect imitation of Shuni and jumped on the writer. "Isn't that great? I left **Australia** just to be with you on a valentine!" Shuichi didn't find it hard to imitate his twin since they were almost alike in all ways.

"Oh, so it was Australia, I thought it was America." Yuki said and pushed Shuichi on the side. "So how did the contest go? I'm sure you sucked big time."

Shuichi fell silent and invented something so Yuki won't suspect. "Of course I didn't! I won dumb ass! Erhm, by the way, I bought something for you." He waved the box of strawberry shortcake to Yuki.

"Geez, too much sweet. I'll take it anyway." Yuki said and already helped himself to a slice.

Shuichi was just staring at him while he didn't realize that his own arms were clinging on Yuki's shoulder for the whole time that the blonde was eating. He smiled faintly as a few memories slammed back on his brain. The times when Shuni still doesn't know about Yuki, times when they were just like that, eating together in silence, talking about nonsense –

"You want this?" Yuki asked while holding the last piece of strawberry fruit on his fingers. Shuichi nodded and reached for the fruit when Yuki grabbed his waist and pulled him closer. The writer put the strawberry between his teeth and pushed it on Shuichi's mouth using his own tongue. Shuichi was shocked that the only thing he did was stared amazed at Yuki's golden eyes that were glazing on him. He felt the strawberry reach his mouth while his lower lip was being nibbled by Eiri.

"Uhnn. Eiri." He moaned and embraced the writer before tears could fall.

_So, when I was gone,Shuni and Yukibecame this close? _Shuichi shut his eyes and tried hard not to think of anything else.

_I'm here because I wanted to say goodbye - no. Not goodbye. I'm here today because it's a special day and I want to spend it with Yuki. And I'm here not as Shuichi but as – _

"Shuni. Stop clinging, I can't breathe! For brat's sake, I thought Shuichi was more of a squeezer than you." Yuki said and immediately Shuichi pulled away and fell silent.

"Ah, just a little mention of your brother's name made you silent. Don't tell me you miss him?" Yuki took another gulp of beer. "Before you left, didn't you just tell me, you'll find him too?"

"Is it wrong to miss my twin?" Shuichi pretended.

_Alright Shu, here it goes. Do your real purpose. And it's all up to Shuni. How pathetic I am._

"Yuki, can I stay with you for this night? I'll leave early tomorrow morning. Promise."

"Won't your over – protective mom be worried?" Yuki asked, finishing his beer.

"No. She knows I'm still in Australia right? I went here immediately." He snuggled next to the blonde who amazingly wrapped an arm on his waist – which made him more sad.

"I was just wondering, if you'll see Shuichi again, what will you do?" he asked, not really sure if he wanted to hear Yuki's answer.

"I thought you said that we shouldn't talk about him?" Yuki said and looked at Shuichi straight in the eyes.

_I can't believe it. Shuni said that? Of all people, I didn't expect him –_

He wore a disgruntled look on his face and felt that his heart was to explode, so he just rested his head on Yuki's chest. He listened to every beat, if only he could memorize it and bring it with him to America. And soon, his thoughts were once again filled with loneliness. He realized that after this day, he was finally saying good bye to everybody else and giving Yuki to Shuni.

"Shuni." He heard Yuki whisper. "Let's watch TV." Yuki suggested and clicked on the remote.

Shuichi looked blankly on the screen, as Yuki was helping himself to another slice of cake. He untangled himself from the blonde and sat beside him, resting his head on Yuki's lap.

_The much awaited valentine's concert will start in a few hours. Are you excited Ryu san? _A reporter interviewed Ryuichi Sakuma who was dressed in all black, while his green hair was spiked just like Shuni's choice of hairstyle. He had mascara and eye shadow which made him more of a rock star. Shuichi grinned. If he hadn't fallen in love with this man beside him, maybe he was still fantasizing and drooling over Ryuichi. They had become friends since his NG days, and eventually, he was near his level when he had to stop. Shuichi felt a surge of jealousy and curled his hands into a fist.

"_Well Aira san, it's more than excitement. I could loudly hear my heart! _Ryuichi waved to his fans. _We really prepared for this event and we are hoping that all of you out there will go to this gathering! Go with your loved ones and celebrate Valentine's with us!"_

"_Ryu san, how do you feel that your rival Shuichi Shindou is not here to sing with you? In any case that he is listening, what would you tell him?"_

"_Ah, Shuichi is not my rival. _Shuichi looked up at the screen; he saw that Ryuichi's expression changed form happy to serious. _I'm not a **nobody** who would hurt Shuichi and make him cry". _Yuki flinched. He knew that those words were addressed to him. "_I miss you Shuichi. You still have a few hours to come here and sing with me. It's not too late. I'm one of those who seriously love you."_

Shuichi knotted his brows in confusion. What did Ryuichi say and what does it mean?

Yuki gritted his teeth and stood up.

"Where are you going?" Shuichi asked.

"Bathroom." He said and closed the bathroom door.

Shuichi sat up and continued watching TV. Is he imagining things or Ryuichi just confessed?

_What are you thinking? It just means friendly love. _His heart skipped. _But why am I feeling excited like this?_

He helped himself to a slice of cake and listened to the reporter.

_Whew isn't that the great Sakuma Ryuichi giving us mystery words of inspiration? What do you think? What was the real meaning of his message to Shindou san. And speaking of Shindou san, where is he? Rumors said that he was on another country – _

Yuki appeared again and sat beside him with a wine bottle on his grip. He poured a little amount to his shot glass and handed it to Shuichi. Shuichi accepted it but was afraid to drink it because he was not very good in handling liquor, unlike Shuni who could manage a few shots.

"You're supposed to drink it, not look at it until it dries." Yuki said wryly and drank his own shot.

_- so Nakano san said he'll quit Bad luck and go to America to study. Will he really do that or he's just saying that to follow Shindou san? A rumor said that they still have a connection. Could this two probably be lovers? _The reporter theorized, while the whole stadium was shaking like an earthquake.

His thoughts were disturbed by a familiar green haired kid who was waving his guitar on the screen. "Oh, it's Fujisaki."

Yuki glanced confusedly at Shuichi.

"_Hiyya minna san! I'm Fujisaki Suguru of Zen'in! Please watch my first performance as a guitarist!"_

"_Suguru kun, how does it feel like to retire from synth strategies and turn into a guitarist?"_

"_I say I'm over excited but at the same time nervous. I honestly prefer the keyboard but I have to gain experience"._

"_Ah this talk is leading again to Shindou san."_

"_Yeah, I know. As I told Nakano san, I was happy with Bad luck, and Bad luck will be my first and last love._

_Suguru you prick! Don't make me cry! _Shuichi smiled but his smile instantly faded away as he realized who was being interviewed next. How could he easily forget those eyes which scared him to death? Aizawa was grinning menacingly like triumph was all his.

"Turn the television off Yuki. Shuichi said and drank the wine straight. "I'll go to the bathroom." He said and grabbed his cell phone with him.

Once he was alone in the bathroom, he sat on the toilet seat and made a call.

"Hello? Yeah, Kiichi san, it's me. Sorry, I won't be keeping my promise. What? No please don't be mad at me. I'm just going to fix a few things. I won't be going home until tomorrow morning. Bye!" he hung up and flushed so Yuki won't suspect anything. When he stepped on the living room, the television was already turned off and the writer was out of sight.

"Yuki! Where are you?" he looked around the apartment and noticed that the study area was open but the writer was not there. His last chance was the bedroom, but he wished Yuki was not sleeping. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that the blonde was just sitting on his bed while smoking.

"I have a head ache. Go home." Yuki said and smashed his cigarette on the ashtray.

"Yuki, you don't have to smoke to release your stress." He went beside the blonde and gave him a massage. "Now, isn't this much better?" The blonde didn't protest and let Shuichi have his way.

"Please stop smoking Yuki." He said and the blonde sat up.

"I want to eat." He said.

"Alright, I'll just get the remaining cake in –

"No, I want to eat outside." Yuki said and got his coat.

"I'll go with you!" Shuichi said and followed Yuki. They rode the car and Yuki drove in silence.

"Where do you wanna eat Yuki?" Shuichi said in a sing song voice.

"Anywhere." He said and stopped the car beside a ramen house.

"I thought you said you hated ramen?" Shuichi asked and got outside.

"But you want ramen right? So don't complain."

"Huh?" Shuichi asked, but still followed Eiri. They ate in silence, with Shuichi finishing three bowls and Yuki finishing one.

"Yeah, I ate a lot!" Shuichi patted his tummy and reached for his wallet but Yuki directed it back on his pocket.

"I'll be the one to pay." He said and paid for their food then exiting the ramen stall.

"Thanks Yuki!" Shuichi grinned widely and climbed on Yuki's back.

"Brat! Get off! You're scaring people!" Yuki glared.

But Shuichi just stayed on Yuki's back, sniffing the blonde's hair. "I don't wanna!"

"Baka." Yuki glared to no one at particular. He walked towards the car with Shuichi still on his back. "What the –

"Why Yuki?" Shuichi peeked behind the writer's shoulder and saw that some gangster pulled a trick on his car. The four tires were flat and his side mirror was stolen. Shuichi jumped to his feet and examined the tires. "Nails." He concluded and removed the pointed objects on Yuki's tires.

"Now, what? I don't want to walk back to my apartment." Yuki crumpled his hair and kicked his tires. "Damn it's 10:30 in the evening and we're stuck here.

Shuichi bit his lip. _Do I really cause this bad luck on people? _He sighed and stood up, throwing the nails on a nearby trash can. He looked like he wanted to cry. "I'll just hire a taxi Yuki, don't worry, I'll be the one to pay."

"No need, let's just stay there." Yuki pointed at a hotel and grabbed Shuichi with him.

"We don't have disguises! What if they thought I was Shuichi? Yuki! I don't want to stay there!" he complained nervously, because he knows what Yuki will do to him.

_But, isn't this the reason why I wanted to see him today? After this game of pretend, it will be the real Shuni to take my place. _He bit his lip again and looked at the hand that was clasped with his own.

_After this, I'm not going to wash my hands forever. _

"Wear this." Yuki handed him his shades and handkerchief.

"What about you?" Shuichi asked while he covered his mouth with the handkerchief.

"Baka! Who in the world will disguise themselves like that? You look like a robber!" Yuki removed the handkerchief on Shuichi mouth and threw it on his head.

"I was just fooling around!" he said and stuck his tongue.

Eiri wore his shades and ran to the hotel as it started to rain. "Ah, finally we're here." He walked to the reception area and signed a fake name and gave a fake i.d."

"Oh my goodness, you look like Yuki Eiri!" the woman attending to him said. Here are the key to your room. You'll be staying at room 204."

And so they went to room 204, a room which was not that big, but very comfy. They removed their shirts which were a little wet and hang it on the terrace. Shuichi jumped on the bed with only his boxers on and sighed contently on the pillows. Yuki on the other hand lit his cigarette and sat on the opposite bed. "Come here Shu."

Shuichi obeyed and sat beside the writer. "How about your car?"

"It's not my own car. I don't care. The company will find it soon enough." He finished smoking and pushed Shuichi lightly on the bed.

"Um…. Yuki…."

"Be quiet brat." Yuki said and bit the younger man's neck.

Shuichi flinched as a response. That neck still hurt from the accident. He felt Yuki licking his neck.

"Mm, Yuki." He moaned. Yuki was traveling his hands on his torso, stopping to pinch his nipples. He arched his body a little while Yuki proceeded on licking and kissing everything that he touched. Shuichi played with the blonde's hair and pulled him closer. He sniffed his hair and sighed.

_I want to remember this night. It's just the two of us. I want to make love to you. For me, this is not just plain loveless sex. I will give all my love. Only for you. Yuki._

He felt Yuki's hand slowly caressing his thighs. He sat up a little, his elbows supporting him. Yuki stripped him off completely, revealing his erection. He blushed and looked at Yuki, nervous of what the blonde was going to do to him. Yuki massaged his legs, going slowly towards his crotch. In an instant, he was fumbling Shuichi lightly, producing small gasps and moans from the singer. While doing this, Yuki kissed Shuichi's cheek, his eyes and nose. The blonde's hand traveled on Shuichi's chest, stopping to pinch his nipples.Shuichi closed his eyes as he saw that Yuki's face was only an inch apart from his. He felt soft lips touched his. It was something new. From the past kisses of Yuki, this was the only one that is gentle.

Yuki made him turn around and bend on his hands and knees. He felt Yuki's weight on his back then again, those warm hands held his erection. Yuki's other hand was placed on Shuichi's waist, and the next thing that Shuichi felt was Yuki's dick being shoved in his hole. His mind didn't register the feeling at first, but when he started thrusting, Shuichi screamed lightly, his hands gripping the sheets tightly, his knees trembling and body shivering. Yuki thrust again and made a good pump, causing Shuichi to ejaculate on the bed. Yuki leaned forward and smirked.

"Naughty kid." He whispered and bit Shuichi's shoulder. The singer collapsed on the bed but Yuki kept on thrusting. When he burst inside Shuichi, he waited for a while before pulling out.

Shuichi faced him and smiled. The blonde moved on top of him and gave him butterfly kisses on his neck and chest. "Are you sleepy?' He asked in between kisses.

"Uh huh." Shuichi said. True, his eyes were fluttering slightly, but he can still carry on. "How about you?"

"Not yet. Yuki said and sat up, spreading his legs. "Come here." He wrapped his legs on Shuichi's shoulders. "You know what to do."

Shuichi noddedand licked the head first. He tasted the tip and afterwards started sucking Yuki.

"Right. Flick your tongue that way Shu." Yuki's right hand was pushing Shuichi's head to suck him deeper. "Yeah. I like that, go on." Yuki whispered as his eyes rolled back. Shuichi was sucking him completely, slurping every once in a while.

"I'm - I'm.." Yuki couldn't speak. He felt himself relax on SHuichi's mouth. When Shuichi stopped, he moaned his pleasure and fell on the bed. He looked at a panting Shuichi and got a tissue to wipe the cum on his cheeks and chest.

"Mm, Yuki, you are so kind." (dialogue from sensitive pornograph)

"It's normal to wipe it off, baka."

"Good night Yuki." Shuichi moved on top of him and kissed him on the lips. They kissed for a minute, with Shuichi, memorizing the warmth and moist of Yuki's lips. He was glad that the tear that fell from his eyes was not noticeable as it looked like sweat. When they finished kissing, he lay on top of Yuki and closed his eyes. He listened to the fast heartbeat of the writer. He was definitely going to miss this.

_This will be the last time. _He thought and made a spare glance at Yuki. He was already sleeping, his arms, rested on Shuichi's back. Shuichi rested his head again on Yuki's chest and fell asleep.

* * *

Shuichi removed the hotel blankets on his body and went to the bathroom. He took a shower for a few minutes, and dressed up quickly. On this very day, he will be going to America with his best friend, and will be leaving his past behind. 

He tiptoed on the bedroom and saw that Yuki was still asleep. He got his trench coat and before opening the door, he sat beside the writer and placed a gentle kiss on him.

"I'm so happy I met you." He whispered as tears began to fall. He quickly wiped it and took a minute glance at the writer's sleeping form.

He felt his cell phone vibrating and answered it outside the room.

"Yo, Hiro?" he greeted.

"Shu? Where have you been? I've been calling you for the past hour!"

"Oh, sorry, my phone is in silent mode. I'll be at Kiichi's after two hours."

"Alright. Be safe ok?"

"Uh huh." Shuichi smiled and turned off his cell phone he swayed the bedroom door again and blew his loving kiss to the writer, and after memorizing his sleeping form, he walked away.

Towards his future.

He rubbed his hands as the morning fog greeted him. It was 4 in the morning and he tried to jog around the park, back to Kiichi's house.

"Oh, yeah, I know he'll be angry." He whispered to himself and imagined his father figure slamming a giant paper fan on his head. But he smiled. It was a natural and true smile that he only released once in a lifetime. He was really thankful for people like Kiichi and his boyfriend Haruomi, who took him in and treated him like a son.

"Man, it's really cold." He stared up at the sky and saw little flakes of white falling. "Yuki." he reached for the snow and it melted on his hand. "Good bye."

He clutched his heart as it started to ache a little. "I'll always love you, Yuki. May you be happy forever. May you be happy with Shuni." he felt cold tears running on his cheeks and decided to walk slower. He was nearing the end of the park when he saw a familiar figure dressed in the same clothes like he was wearing right now. He swallowed hard and stepped in front of the man.

"Long time no see." Shuichi greeted and the other man gasped. "Shuni."

* * *

Yuki grumbled in his sleep and fell on the bed. He was dreaming that he was running in the snow covered park and saw there was a pink cat jumping from the bridge. He tried to rescue it and when he did so, he awoke rubbing his ass. 

"Ouch. Stupid dream." He crawled back to bed, but the person lying beside him earlier was not there.

"Shu?" he called out and tried searching on the bathroom. "Shu?" he called again, but the singer was not inside the hotel room.

He scratched his head and went to the assistance area.

"Did a pink haired guy left the hotel?" he asked rudely, not caring that he was only wearing his boxers.

"Um, I don't know if his hair is pink, but, a teen logged out minutes before and he already paid for the room rent. Other than that, no one else exited the hotel." The woman said, her cheeks blushing a bright shade of red.

"Shit." Eiri wiped his sweat, went back to their room and dressed up then ran outside. He wasn't sure where he was going, but all he wanted to do is find the brat and bring him back. He ignored the lady who was calling for him, asking him to log out first before leaving.

* * *

"Shu – Shuichi?" the guy responded at once and stepped forward. The snow was falling lightly, and the gentle evening breeze caressed them. Shuichi looked at the guy in front of him. _What a coincidence. _Shuichi thought. They were wearing the same white trench coat, bandana, black shirt and khaki pants. Except, that his pants were torn a little on the side because of what their dog did earlier. 

"Shuichi?" Shuni repeated and made another step, but Shuichi stepped backward. They were in the same place where he and Yuki first met, and where he saw the most heart breaking scene he didn't want to remember: Shuni and Yuki's kiss.

"How are you Shuni?" Shuichi asked, with a bit of angst in his tone.

"I – I'm fine." Shuni answered, a little nervous. "You made me worried, Shu. Where have you been?"

"I've been trying to heal myself." Shuichi walked towards his twin.

"Heal?"

"Yes, heal. Heal myself of heartaches, painful memories, disturbing thoughts, physical injuries – everything."

"Hiro said you're in another country! Ah, I know," he said sarcastically. "Hiro knows you're really in Japan and you are hiding it. Why Shuichi? You could've healed yourself with our help!" Shuni blurted out.

"Don't blame Hiro! I planned all of this! And yes, he knows I'm still in Japan." He chuckled. "But don't worry my dear brother, I'll be out of your life before you know it."

"What do you mean? Why don't you just stay here with us, your family –

"FAMILY?" Shuichi cried. "You call yourself family? Does mom always comparing you and me, scolding me, and treating me like bullshit count me as part of the Shindou family!"

"Shuichi, you know mom loves –

"Don't even say the word. We all know she doesn't love me! She only loves you! The excellent, handsome and bright Shuni. She doesn't know who the heck Shuichi is! All she knows is that, the stupid, annoying and noisy Shuichi killed his husband. Do you seriously think I could heal my whole self around the people who doesn't care about me?"

"You're my brother and you know that I love you."

"Seriously Shuni, does telling Yuki not to talk about me makes me part of your family?"

Shuni froze; his face was as white as snow. "H – how did you know that?" hecontrolled his tears and looked straight into Shuichi's eyes.

"It doesn't matter. I just hope you'll be happy with your life now." Shuichi turned from angry to sad. He wiped his tears and placed his hand on Shuni's shoulders.

He looked directly at his mirror image. "Even though every one, including you, treats me like garbage, I will always love all of you."

"Shuichi." Shuni couldn't control himself and he cried together with his twin. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to be." Shuichi forced a smile. "Please tell Maiko and mom that I love them."

"Don't leave Shuichi. We could start a new life." Shuni gripped his brother's arms.

"You don't have to start a new life. It's just me who needs to begin from the start." Shuichi said and pulled his twin in a tight embrace. "Please take care of yourself and – and our family." He hesitated saying the word. "I love you, Shuni."

Shuni cried and wrapped his arms on his brother. "Please. Please don't leave."

Shuichi pulled away and walked past his brother. "Good bye." Shuichi said and walked slowly towards the end of the park.

"Shuichi!" Shuni called out, unable to remove his feet from where he is standing. "Don't leave us Shuichi!"

"Shuni. It's all up to you. Please love Yuki with all your heart." And with saying that, Shuichi ran away, his figure slowly fading from the mist of the falling morning snow.

Shuni clutched his chest as he looked at the fading figure in front of him. Shuichi was out of sight, and fog replaced his place. "Come back." He whispered to himself.

"What are you doing there?"

Shuni wiped his tears and looked at the new presence in front of him. His eyes widened and he looked back at Shuichi's wake.

"I'm asking you. What are you doing there?"

"Yuki, I – I was just – just watching the snow."

"Right, you paid and logged out of the hotel just to watch the falling snow."

"Hotel?" Shuni bit his lip.

_So, Shuichi was with Yuki earlier? But judging from Shuichi's words, I bet he pretended to be me._

Yuki placed his hand on his chin, as if he was thinking deeply. He looked at Shuni from head to toe, and noticed that Shuichi's twin was trembling.

"Brat, are you cold? Why are you trembling like that?"

Shuni ran towards the blonde and collapsed on his arms. "Yuki." He cried, "I don't want you to leave me!"

Yuki sighed and lit a cigarette. Shuni just remained in his position and buried his face on the writer's chest.

"Go home now, Shuni. I have to go somewhere else."

"Yuki. Please," he embraced the writer possessively and cried. "Please love me!"

Yuki threw his newly lighted cigarette on the floor and pulled away from Shuni. "You don't have to force anybody to love you."

"But Yuki! You have to love me!" he persisted staring at the golden eyes in front of him. "You have to love me!"

"Says who?" Yuki glared and started to walk away.

"Yuki!" Shuni shouted.

Yuki stopped from walking and placed his hands inside his pockets. "I live according to my will. I don't want people ordering me around. You're just like Tohma – a bee buzzing and following me. Don't you get tired Shuni? I'm trying to stay away from you but all you do is follow me."

"I'll never get tired Yuki. I'll follow you until you fall in love with me. I know you're worried about Shuichi, but please don't think about him anymore. I'm here – I'm all yours, you can hit me or whatever you like. I don't care! I just want to be with you!"

"Stop it Shuni!" Yuki glared and spat on the snow filled ground. "Just go home ok, I want to be left alone!" and with that, he turned away before Shuni could follow him again.

* * *

Eiri retrieved his car the next day. He got up early in the morning and took breakfast at a nearby coffee shop. He rubbed his temples as another migraine visited him. He could also tell that his lungs were tired from smoking as he was coughing constantly, disturbing other costumers. He decided to pay someone a visit and make it a double purpose. 

He drove furiously on the busy streets, scaring other drivers and people. He doesn't know why, but aside from the aching of his lungs, his heart was aching with equal pain.

_Strange. I don't have a heart attack, but why am I feeling this. _He clutched his heart. He was feeling a mixture of pain and nervousness.

He parked his car in front of a large old mansion with a wide garden. He threw his cigarette on the floor and stepped on it. After slamming his car door shut, he fixed his coat and went to the front door.

Someone opened it before he even pressed the doorbell.

"Ah, U – Uesugi san?"

He smirked and removed his shades before greeting the nervous person in front of him.

"Yo, Kiichi."

* * *

"Shuichi, did you say goodbye to your family?" Hiro asked his best friend. They were dragging with them large suitcases and travel bags. Shuichi wore a black trench coat, black shirt and black pants to match his black shades. Hiro frowned.

"Shuichi, I know it's cold, but do you really have to wear all black?"

Shuichi smiled faintly and wore his black baseball cap. "Hiro, this is my last day in Japan. And this is my last day as Shuichi Shindou. After this, its 'good bye Japan, good bye everyone, nice meeting you, thanks for everything.'(sigh). This will be the death day of Shuichi Shindou."

"Shuichi." Hiro frowned more but decided not to talk anymore. They were already at the airport, with their perfect disguises. Hiro was wearing his blue collar shirt and black pants. His red hair was tied into a ponytail and he was wearing shades.

"So, did the Valentines concert go well? You went with Ayaka yesterday right?"

"Uh huh. It was great. In the middle of the concert though, someone shouted 'Where's bad luck?' and several others followed. Then the whole coliseum started shouting 'Give us Bad luck! We want Bad luck!' I forced myself out before someone recognizes me."

"So you had a wonderful experience running from fans huh?"

"How about you? You avoided my question, Shu. Did you say goodbye to your family?"

"I left a note to Maiko and mom. And, unexpectedly, I met Shuni at the park." Shuichi smiled.

Hiro gasped. "He saw you! What did he say? What did you say?"

"Nothing much, just the usual. I told him to take care of mom and our sister. I said I'll be out of their lives forever." Hiro could feel the bitterness in Shuichi's tone and shrugged.

"So how about Yuki." Hiro bit his lip as he saw Shuichi flinch.

"I – I told Shuni to take care of him."

"Ah, you're giving him to Shuni." Hiro said and rubbed Shuichi's back.

"I really don't know if it's a wise decision or not. But, all I know is, in the next thirty minutes, Shuichi Shindou of bad luck will be dead." He said as he glanced at the large airport clock.

* * *

"W – what are you doing here!" Kiichi said as he saw Yuki on his front door. 

"Be hospitable and let your patient enter will you?" Yuki said sarcastically and stepped inside without any invitation to get in.

He sat on the comfy couch of the Aoe house and rested his legs on the center glass table. Kiichi just frowned and bit his lip. "What is it Uesugi san?"

"Kiichi, who came?" Haruomi entered the living room with only his bathrobe on.

"Oh, I see, I interrupted something." Yuki snickered and then glared.

"What is it that you want Uesugi san? You don't have to go to my house if you're not feeling well; you could've waited in my clinic."

"That's right. But I wanted to see you here. Tell me, where is Shuichi?"

Haruomi and Kiichi's eyes widened. Yuki smirked.

"By the look of your faces, I could tell I shocked you in some way?" Yuki pulled out a cigarette and lighted it. He exhaled some smoke and repeated his question. "Where is Shuichi?"

"He's – he's not here. And why do you think he stays here?" Kiichi replied calmly.

"Aoe, Kiichi." Yuki puffed his smoke and grinded it on a nearby ashtray. "I'm not stupid. I know that you are the Shindou family doctor and you are currently taking care of Shuichi Shindou. When I visited your clinic, you mentioned someone about being sick and having a heart disease. It's Shuichi right?"

"I am indeed the Shindou doctor, but it's not Shuichi I'm talking about. It's Shuni who has a heart disease."

"Yeah, go ahead and keep on tricking me. They are twins, and I expect that both of them have the same sickness."

"Yeah, so what?" Kiichi said as he sat down near Eiri. "They have the same heart problem but what makes you think that Shuichi is here? You can search the whole house if you want. And didn't Hiro kun told you that Shu chan is currently living in another country?"

"I don't trust that guitarist. Just tell me the truth Kiichi!" Yuki started shouting. "Tell me where he is and I won't bother your whole fucking life."

Kiichi feel silent and glanced at Haruomi, his boyfriend. The taller man nodded at him. Kiichi closed his eyes and breathed to relax himself. When he opened his eyes, he prepared himself for whatever will happen.

"So?" Eiri started.

"Shuichi Shindou. He was here for a few months to heal himself from his accident. It was a hard experience for him. He was almost paralyzed, but we helped him recover. And thankfully, his sweet smiles were back. He told us not to tell anybody, including his family of what happened to him and where he could be found. Shuichi and Shuni's heart problem are two different levels. Shuni can still handle his heart aches, but Shuichi……..

Kiichi rubbed the bridge of his nose to avoid crying. "Shuichi's condition is worse. Aside from his heart, he suffers from mental torture to which his mother plays a very large role. He was forced to believe the truth that he was the one responsible for the death of their father. Good thing, Maiko and Shuni was there to love him."

"Just get straight to the point, Kiichi." Yuki said rather irritably. "I don't have much time."

"You still don't know about that day when he called you and he was talking nonsense – he was just outside your apartment. He was raped."

Yuki froze while his knuckles turned white as his lips. What was he doing those times? He was just typing his novels and smoking his way to death. Memories of that day became clearer. He remembered that indeed, a cell phone was in front of his apartment, followed by drops of fresh blood. How could he ignore it?

_How could I ignore such an important thing?_

Kiichi noticed the sudden change in Yuki's expression. He decided to continue. "I found him and took care of him. He experienced so many heart aches, Yuki san. The only power that was keeping him alive was his fans' support, his band mates, his sister's love and…

And you." He finished. "Even Shuni became a traitor. Even you, didn't give the love that he needed. So tell me, why will I tell you where he is? Why should I give information to someone whom he loves so much but is continuously betraying him?"  
Yuki threw his cigarette on the ash tray. He shut his eyes and the many faces of Shuichi appeared on his mind. A smiling Shuichi, a singing Shuichi, a pouting Shuichi, Shuichi doing the laundry, Shuichi giving him a morning kiss, a dancing Shuichi. Yuki started to smile. But then, several images flashed on his mind, replacing those happy faces. Shuichi was crying, Shuichi's bloody face and body due to his accident, little Shuichi being hit by his mom, kids bullying Shuichi, Shuichi being raped, Shuichi having a heart attack –

Yuki opened his eyes and wiped his sweat. He saw Kiichi giving him a mad look. He gulped and sighed.

"I'm just a man, Kiichi. I commit mistakes. I believe there is still time to heal all hearts that have been wounded. If you tell me where Shuichi is, his tears will stop flowing."

"Will you give him all the love that he needs?" Kiichi asked.

"I'll try." Yuki answered instantly.

"So do you love him like he loves you?" Kiichi asked again.

Yuki didn't answer and threw a pillow on Kiichi.

The doctor smiled. "I told you his story because I believe that you'll be the only one who'll make him give us a true smile. You'll the only one who can make his heart content and happy." He stood up and opened the door. "He's at the Tokyo airport with Hiro. If you don't see them there, it means they already left to go toL.A. –

Kiichi didn't finish his speech. Yuki ran outside his house like a whirlwind and went to the Tokyo airport.

* * *

a/n: oh my! Don't throw rotten eggs at me! I'm sorry for not updating fast! Really! I'm so sorry! I can't put to words all the suggestions and my ideas. I'm just good at imagining! Please review! If you want to review my other fics, just visit my profile. 

Only one or two more chapters left!


	15. The Definition of Love, Yuki's Star

**a/n: sorry, this chapter is short. I just felt that I need to update, like a belated treat for Halloween. Hehe, but this is not related o Halloween at all.**

Chapter 15

**The Definition of Love, Yuki's Star**

Yuki disobeyed all traffic rules just to get on the airport on time. His car's tires were flaming and screeching as other cars avoided his path. He swore he heard police sirens following him but he didn't care. This was a 'do or die' situation for him.

He stopped his car in front of the large Narita airport and ran out of his car, almost forgetting to slam it shut. He ran inside, ignoring the guards that were stopping him.

"Sir! You're not allowed to enter!" one guard held his arm roughly.

"I don't care. I have to find someone!" he shouted back and pushed the guard on the floor.

"What's that?!"

"Is that Yuki Eiri?"

"Oh my! He looks wasted!"

_Great. I made a scene. _He grunted and slammed his forehead. Before the guard could stand up, he ran to the escalator, climbing two steps at a time, not caring whether he knocked or stomped on someone.

And finally he made it to the waiting area. There were lots of people with large suitcases and bags in hand, walking here and there. He wandered his teary eyes on the whole large space, hoping to see his pink haired brat. His feet walked slowly, his eyes carefully scanning the crowd.

_There! _His heart raced. Beside the luggage center was a pink haired guy wearing a black cap. He ran faster and made the man face him. "Shuichi –

"Excuse me?" the man – or rather the woman said.

"S- sorry, I thought you were someone else." His cheeks blushed for a moment before he proceeded on finding Shuichi again.

"Miss?' he went to the counter to ask for the flight schedules. "What time will the flight for L.A. leave?" he asked, panting after every word. He wiped his sweat as the attendant checked on a paper.

"Sir, there are two flights. One earlier this morning and the other one will leave after 1 minute." The lady smiled and entertained other passengers.

"One minute." He said to himself and slumped on the floor. He waited till his breathing was back to normal during which his eyes continued to search for Shuichi.

He shook his head and stood up. "I've wasted so much time. Must find him."

And he ran again.

* * *

Shuichi sneezed. He got his black handkerchief and wiped his nose. "Augh, I think I'm going to have a fever."

"Shu, let's go?" Hiro pointed at the plane. Shuichi nodded. He viewed Japan for the last time through his black shades and sighed. "Good bye Japan. Good bye everybody." He said while Hiro started walking towards the plane. "Good bye Yuki." He closed his eyes and turned around.

It was his turn to climb up the plane. He looked at the large engine waiting for him. "There's no turning back Shuichi. Once you enter, your life will change. You are no longer Shuichi Shindou." He said to himself and made his first step.

Yuki continued to run, bumping all people on his way.

_Flight for L.A. will be leaving in a few seconds._

He panicked when he heard the announcer. He kept on running faster until he reached the right plane. He gripped on the rails and looked for any sign that will lead him to his Shuichi.

"Shuichi… Shuichi…." he mumbled all over.

Shuichi's foot stepped on the entrance part of the plane. He sneezed again and rubbed his nose. He felt his heart race as if there was someone who wanted to stop him. He shook his head and smiled.

* * *

Yuki wiped a tear that fell down on his eye. "Geez, why am I crying?" he remained stubborn. As he removed his hand from his eyes, something pink entering the plane caught his eye. His eyes widened for a moment before his mouth opened to shout.

"Shuichi!" he shouted.

Shuichi looked back at the large crowd. He was sure someone called his name.

"Shuichi?" Hiro called. "What's taking you so long buddy?"

He turned around again and stepped inside. "No. Nothing." He said again and went to look for their seats. Finally he was inside, finally he's not Shuichi.

Yuki punched the wall beside him. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid." he muttered all over. "Baka Shuichi!" he said to himself and watched as the plane rocketed off to the sky.

* * *

Yuki sat on his dark apartment the next day. After he left the airport, he went straight on his couch and didn't answer calls, doorbells and emails. He was just staring at the blank screen of the television, cans of beer on the floor. He heard a faint click on the door and saw a shade of pink coming towards him.

_Shuichi? _He thought and stared at the new presence beside him.

"Yuki, why are you not answering my calls? I'm worried."

"Shu..ni.. I don't want you here, go away."

"Don't be like that Yuki." Shuni Shindou pouted.

"Who are you to order me around? Just leave already!" he started to raise his voice which made Shuichi's twin to back away. When Yuki realized what he had done, he massaged his temples, sighed and rested back on his couch.

"Go home Shuni. I want to be alone."

"Alone? Alone and then what? Ruin your life with this?" he snatched a cigarette from Yuki's fingers and threw it on the floor. "What's happening with you? Why are you sulking in your apartment by yourself?!" Shuni reprimanded him and started to cry.

Yuki greeted his teeth and stood up, grabbing Shuni by his arm. He headed towards the door and threw the brat outside his apartment.

"If you went here just to reprimand me and cry –

"I didn't come here just to reprimand you!" Shuni explained and set himself free from Yuki's grasp. "I'm here because I'm concerned! I'm here because I wanted to make sure that you are ok. I'm here because I love you!"

Yuki smirked. "Heh, love? Who are you kidding Shuni? Do you even know the word? Does that mean you don't love your brother? You are thinking of me when you should be thinking of your missing bother –

"I love Shuichi! The love that I am feeling for him is different from the love that I am showing you. I love you Yuki, please believe me! I can't stop thinking of you; I always want to be with you –

Yuki started to walk back inside his apartment, digesting Shuni's confession.

- to be always by your side. I want to share my life with you, Yuki! I don't care if my mom or any other person will protest, but I am seriously in love with you!" Shuni was crying hysterically now, and when he saw that Yuki was to close the door, he ran and hugged the writer from behind.

"Please Yuki, let me love you. Please give me a chance."

Yuki kept silent for a moment, hearing only Shuni's sobbing. His grip on the doorknob tightened when Shuni's hug tightened as well. Breaking the silence, he breathed in and closed his eyes.

"You said that you want to be with me?"

He felt Shuni nod and tightened his embrace more.

"You said you always want to be beside me."

"Yes." Shuni whispered.

"You – you said you can't stop thinking of me, and you want to share your life with me?"

"Yes." Shuni replied.

"You also said that you don't care if other people protest, even if it's your parents, because you are seriously in love with me."

"Yes, Yuki, I am in love with you." Shuni said.

"If that's your definition of love, then –

He removed Shuni's arms from his waist.

- it's Shuichi that I seriously love.

Yuki didn't look back, he sighed and closed the door in front of a defeated Shuni, who was now crying on the floor. Once Yuki was inside, he leaned his back on the door and cried by himself.

* * *

aww, sorry super short and super late chapter! probably the **next chapter is the last chapter?** hmmmmmmmm

i am still accepting suggestions for the ending of this fic, but i can't promise I'll use all of them!

**thanks to those who reviewed!**

**thanks to tammy love and darkmetalangel of destruction for the ideas!**

Shuichi shindou-uesugi - DarkMetalAngel of Destruction - KawaiiYasha - Dark Godess Hekate - cocobanana - aya of darkness - leanie - kaylariana - i love athrun - pikapikaryuchan - emi - ayame - kyralhart - kiira san - Tiasalle - Sally - selim - miki - gon - rogueraven89 - heero - xxYukixx - mqlightloyalty3 - magda - Ana the MClover - sansty san - angel by day - Lily - Ranma064 - Ashcat - expeart - risa - karin1004 - Akane Shindou - DemonicDragon666 - EggyMina - Yukishuii - chibi - kemet - KawaiiEarBiter - ayaumi - tammylove - dbzluver2 - animefreak - yvonne - bian - hikari - chan - tif - sugar crazed duckie - chayo1197 - tati1 - bakazaruaddict - Fishtank the evilfangirl - amethyst - Servant of the yaoi - we want to be famous

whew, i hope i didn't forget to greet anyone!


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